“Please let me merge before I start crying” (bumper sticker)
"Please let me merge before I start crying" is a bumper sticker saying that has been
“Please lower the gas prices. I’m not built for OnlyFans”
"Please lower the gas prices. I'm not built for OnlyFans" and "Please lower the cost of living. I'm not built for OnlyFans" are jocular sayings that have been printed…
“Porsches are just spicy Volkswagens”
"Porsches are just spicy Volkswagens" is a car saying that has been printed on many images. Porsche is owned by Volkswagen AG, and there is a car called the Porsche Cayenne. "Audis…
“Pressing the key fob once locks the car. Pressing it like eight or nine times SUPER locks it”
Many people click the car locked more than once. This was posted on Twitter by Ygrene on June 11, 2022, and received over 202,400 likes: "Everyone knows that pressing the key fob once locks…
“Pressing the lock button on your car keys twice is essential. Just like saving your game twice”
Many people do things twice, just to make sure. "Pressing the lock button on your car keys twice is essential. Just like saving your game twice on Pokemon! #essetiallifestyle" was posted…
“Pretend to honk if you like mimes” (bumper sticker)
Entry in progress -- BP Twitterzeppy.io weird@zeppy_weird#Funny "pretend to honk if you like mimes" new bumper sticker, #clown, #weird dec,…
“Pretty excited. Our loan was approved. We’re closing on a full tank of gas this weekend”
Gas prices can be expensive, and a joke compares it to getting a bank mortgage for a house. "Pretty excited. Our loan was approved. We’re closing on a full tank of gas this weekend" was…
“Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners”
A monorail pun is: "Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners." The joke was posted on Twitter on October 6, 2010 and probably originated on the website Pun of the Day.…
“Put the fun between your legs” (cycling saying)
"Put some/something/the fun between your legs" is a cycling saying that has been printed on many images. "Put something fun between your legs" was printed in a 1972 newspaper,…
“Racing improves the breed”
"Racing improves the breed" is a popular adage of many kinds of racing. "That racing improves the breed of running horses, is not denied" was cited in print in 1835. Throughout…
“Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving”
"Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "frequent naps, such as while driving a car, will…
“Remember if your flight gets cancelled most airports have a secret fleet of backup planes…”
When airlines cancel flights, angry passengers often take their rage out on the customer service representative, who did not cause the problem. This sarcasm was posted on Twitter by Jeremy Khan on…
“Ride the Rapid” (Staten Island Rapid Transit)
"Ride the Rapid" appears to have been the slogan of Staten Island Rapid Transit in the 1950s, but I can't find evidence of it in the historical New York Times.…
“Ride your own ride” (motorcycle adage)
"Ride your own ride" is a popular motorcycle adage about riding in groups. Some group members are more experienced and can go faster than others, but one should always "ride your own…
“Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet…”
"Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet..." is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Folding a fitted sheet is a problem…
“Rotate my tires? I rotate them every time I drive!”
"Streaking" that originally aired on September 6, 1998. Wikipedia: Tire rotation Tire rotation is the practice of moving the wheels and tires of an automobile from one position to…
“Roundabouts are a communist plot”
Many people do not like roundabouts, even comparing them to communism. "Roundabouts are like Communism and the metric system, they work on paper and in europe but put 'em in America and…
“Roundabouts are the communism of road structures”
Many people do not like roundabouts, even comparing them to communism. "Roundabouts are like Communism and the metric system, they work on paper and in europe but put 'em in America and…
“Roundabouts are the communism of traffic control systems”
Many people do not like roundabouts, even comparing them to communism. "Roundabouts are like Communism and the metric system, they work on paper and in europe but put 'em in America and…
“Safe driving is no accident”
Entry in progress. -- B.P. Reddit -- OnelinersSafe driving is no accident (self.oneliners)submitted September 7, 2017 by YourInnerIdiot