“No matter how fast your car is, you can’t outrun a police radio”
"No matter how fast your car is, you can't outrun a police radio" is a policing adage. A speeding criminal, for example, often is tempted to go faster and escape the police. The…
“No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up”
A car alarm serves a different purpose than an alarm clock, but there is a one-line saying: "No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up." The joke was posted on Twitter…
“No matter how old you get, it’s always fun watching your car go through the car wash”
Many people never outgrow the joy of seeing a car go through the car wash. "No matter how old you are, it's always fun watching your car go through the car wash" was posted on…
“No unfortunately, I cannot give you directions around the city I have lived in my entire life”
Many people can live in a city their entire life, but they go to the same places and do not really know the city. This was posted on X/Twitter by 𝒛𝒂𝒉 on December 7, 2022, and received over…
“Not drunk. Avoiding potholes” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not drunk. Just avoiding potholes" (or "Not drunk. Avoiding potholes") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Car sticker seen…
“Nothing worse than trying to text someone and a cyclist bounces off your windscreen”
Texting while driving can cause accidents. "Nothing worse than trying to text someone and a cyclist bounces off your windscreen" is a joke that has been printed on several images.…
“Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly. Next week: turn signals”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak came with many public announcements to wash hands. Many people used this to joke about learning other basic things. "For those of you that just adopted…
“Obey the sign or pay the fine”
"Obey the sign or pay the fine" is an anti-speeding campaign that has been shown on many images. Newspapers.com14 December 1991, St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, "Letters from the…
“Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” (safety warning)
"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" is what is written on the right-side window of a vehicle. This is a safety warning to prevent accidents before people make wrong decisions…
“OCD—Obsessive Cycling Disorder”
"OCD -- Obsessive Cycling Disorder" -- a cycling pun on "obsessive–compulsive disorder" -- has been printed on many images. "Uncle Gigs.....suffering from OCD (Obsessive…
“Of course, I can’t afford a voice activated car. It goes without saying”
"It goes without saying" is an expression that means something is understood without being expressly stated in words. "It goes without saying" has nothing to do with…
“Officer, why are you crying while writing me a ticket?”/“It’s a moving violation.”
Are moving violations emotionally moving? A joke has been cited in print since at least 1999: MOTORIST: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? POLICEMAN: It was a moving violation. Google…
“On a New York City subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing”
"On a New York City subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Strange thing about the subways in…
“On a slow boat to China” (a long transport)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: (I'd Like to Get You on a) Slow Boat to China"On A Slow Boat to China" is a popular song by Frank Loesser, published in 1948. The song is a…
“One minute, you’re young and fun. And the next, you’re turning down the car stereo to see better”
"One minute, you're young and fun. And the next, you're turning down the stereo in your car to see better" is a jocular saying about aging and driving that has been printed on…
“One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it’s holding a parking ticket”
Parking tickets are usually placed under a windshield wiper. "We're going to have to get rid of that windshield wiper on the car. I found another parking ticket in it today" was a…
“Overheard on the bus: ‘Hey, stop listening to our conversation!’”
Conversations in restaurants, on public transportation and in other places may not be private. "Overheard today in restaurant: 'Can you stop listening to our conversation?'" was…
“Overheard on the train this morning: ‘I think that guy’s listening to our conversation’”
Conversations in restaurants, on public transportation and in other places may not be private. "Overheard today in restaurant: 'Can you stop listening to our conversation?'" was…
“Pack your patience”
"Pack your patience" is standard advice given to travelers. "NEW YORK WORLD'S FAIR -- Pack your patience and prepare to queue up" was cited in print in 1964. The saying has…
“Passenger with autism on board” (vehicle sign)
"Adult/Child/Children/Occupant/Passenger/Person/Teen with autism on board" printed on many images. The sign warns that this occupant may not be able to respond in an emergency. This is a…