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April 28, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian-looking fellow sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer…”

A politically incorrect bar joke from 2011 has an Asian-looking man enter a bar, sit next to the speaker and take a sip of beer. The speaker asks if the man knows any of the martial arts. The man…

May 9, 2019
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went into a restaurant with no shirt or shoes and my phone still worked so take that, sign”

Many restaurants have "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" signs. "Good thing your phone company doesn't have one of those 'no shirt no shoes no service' signs" was…

July 13, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a buffet restaurant in Northwest Canada the other day. It was all Yukon eat”

"Yukon" sounds like "you can," and there are "All Yukon Eat" jokes. "Alaskan Crab Legs (...) ALL YUKON EAT!!" was in an advertisement in the Daily Press…

March 11, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a deli and said, ‘I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese’” (joke)

"I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese" is not always the same as "I'd like to buy a bagel and cream cheese." The following joke (which went viral) was posted on…

February 27, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family”

A joke about a "family restaurant" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on February 27, 2020: "I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family." Other family…

January 7, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole!”

The British dish of "toad in the hole" has had some "toed in the hole" sex jokes. This was posted on Twitter on January 21, 2013: "Took the wife out for dinner but all she…

September 21, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette. I just got a plate with two dots on it!”

"Omelette" shouldn't be confused with "umlaut," but there are jokes. "German restaurant joke.... I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette....I just got a…

February 1, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a market that only sold jelly and custard. It was a trifle bazaar”

"Trifle bizarre" (meaning "a bit strange") shouldn't be confused with "trifle bazaar" (meaning "a market that sells trifles"), but there are jokes.…

April 1, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a restaurant and the food was all done with special effects. It was CGI Fridays”

A joke about the restaurant chain TGI Fridays is: "I went to a restaurant and the food was all done with special effects. It was CGI Fridays." "'I went to a restaurant and the…

May 4, 2025
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a restaurant last night which had horse on the menu. The starter wasn’t very good, but the mane was excellent!”

A joke about eating horse was posted on Sickipedia on May 4, 2025: "I went to a restaurant last night which had horse on the menu. The starter wasn't very good, but the mane was…

December 15, 2023
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a restaurant run by cows. They didn’t allow tipping”

Restaurant tipping is not the same as cow tipping, but there are jokes. "Why don’t cows work in restaurants? They kept getting tipped" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on February 22,…

February 28, 2018
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to a vegan restaurant last night. Was told the menu was quite tasty” (joke)

Saying "the menu was tasty" doesn't necessarily mean the actual menu, but a joke was posted on Sickipedia on February 20, 2018: "I went into a vegan restaurant as I was told the…

February 22, 2018
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to an open-air cafe yesterday and it rained. Took me two hours to finish my soup”

An old joke has it that someone went to a restaurant with a leaky roof -- and it took several hours to finish the soup. Another version is that the person went to an open-air restaurant, and that…

December 8, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to buy some bouillon cubes at the store today, but they were all out of stock”

"Out of stock" means that a business has no more of an item. It shouldn't be confused with the "stock" that is broth (bouillon), but there are jokes. "I went to buy…

October 1, 2024
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/CircusRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to Dan’s cafe, but was put off by the non-stop George Michael music. I’m never going to Dan’s again”

A joke on George Michael's song "Careless Whisper" (1984) was posted on Facebook by Tom Whiteman on July 3, 2018: "I popped in to a place called Dan's Cafe for a bite to…

December 14, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to McDonald’s and ordered 2 large fries. They gave me around 75 tiny ones instead”

"Large fries" and "small fries" are the same size of french fries -- the "large" order just contains more of them. "mcdonalds employee: please sir, get off the…

August 23, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to Starbucks and asked for a medium roast. The barista said I had small ears”

A person who enters a coffee shop and orders a "medium roast" probably doesn't want a light ribbing, but there are many jokes. "Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the…

July 16, 2019
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to the grocery store. The sign said ‘no food or drink inside.’ So I went home”

Grocery stores often have a sign that says "No food or drink inside." The sign means that customers shouldn't bring food or drink inside the store, but it can be read the wrong way.…

December 7, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I went to the store to buy chicken broth, but they said they were out of stock”

"Out of stock" means that a business has no more of an item. It shouldn't be confused with the "stock" that is broth (bouillon), but there are jokes. "I went to buy…

April 8, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I wish I was rich enough to eat out all the time like the homeless do”

Some people want to eat out (at restaurants) all the time, but cannot afford it. The homeless don't have a home, so they, technically, always eat out. "Homeless people would save a lot of…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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