“I love Chick-Fil-A! I could eat there 24/6”
Chick-fil-A restaurants are closed on Sunday. "24/7" means 24 hours, 7 days a week, and there's a "24/6" joke with Chick-fl-A, but the restaurants are not open 24 hours a…
“I love to make lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what’s on the list while at the store”
Many people make supermarket lists, and then forget to take these lists with them to the supermarket. "I like to make lists. I also like to leave them (laying) on the kitchen counter and then…
“I love when restaurants put ‘market price’ next to certain menu items. Like yeah, I’ve been monitoring scallop futures all week”
Restaurants often put some items, such as seafood, as "market price" (abbreviated "MKT"). That menu item is usually very expensive. "You know a restaurant expensive when a…
“I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats”
"I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Many Asian-American restaurants have a "beckoning cat" figurine…
“I may not be perfect or very good or adequate, but I return shopping carts to their appropriate location”
Returning a shopping cart feels like doing a civic duty, displaying a person's good character. This was posted on X/Twitter by Han Solo Cup on November 9, 2023, and it received over 1,100…
“I opened a bar for men with erectile dysfunction. It was a total flop. Nobody came”
"I opened a club for men with erectile dysfunction too but our first night was a success. We had a soft opening" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 21, 2015. "I opened a nightclub…
“I ordered a Manhattan and that Indian bartender charged me $24!”
Peter Minuit purchased the island of Manhattan from the Lenape Indians for $24 worth of trinkets in 1626, according a popular New York City legend. A joke was published in the Los Angeles (CA)…
“I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but.. I’d accidentally ordered Avogadro’s Toast”
"Avocado toast" shouldn't be called "Avogadro toast," but there are jokes. "Avogadro's toast" was posted on Twitter by Andrew Kim on September 13, 2016.…
“I ordered two large fries, not a hundred little ones!”
"Large fries" and "small fries" are the same size of french fries -- the "large" order just contains more of them. "mcdonalds employee: please sir, get off the…
“I phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two. The guy who answered said I had the wrong number so asked for a table for four instead”
A restaurant joke was posted on The Musings of Mark Haggan on a page from November 29, 2013 (it appears that the joke was added in 2017): "Phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two.…
“I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the pub last night. Especially as I walked there”
"I really shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "I probably…
“I reached peak adulting by being thrilled to be in a nearly empty supermarket first thing in the morning”
"I reached peak adulting by being thrilled to be in a nearly empty supermarket first thing in the morning" is a saying that has been printed on many images. An empty supermarket allows…
“I really shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there”
"I really shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "I probably…
“I really want to buy a supermarket checkout divider, but the cashier keeps putting it back”
The supermarket checkout dividers are not for sale, but a joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 13, 2013: "No matter how much I try and buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers,…
“I recently opened a restaurant. I guess you could call me an entrée-preneur”
"Entrepreneur" is sometimes jocularly written as "entrée-preneur," especially for someone in the restaurant business (such as an entrepreneur who sells entrées). "THE…
“I refuse to make my own sandwich. I rely on sub contractors”
Sub sandwich shops have trademarked the "sub contractor" name joke since the 1980s. "Not a fan of pun business names but a sandwich catering company named 'sub contractor'…
“I refuse to pay for Jewish bread. I’m a challah cost denier”
Challah is a bread of Ashkenazi Jewish origin. "What's the challah cost?" sounds like "What's the holocaust?", and there are jokes. "How much does that challah…
“I run on Starbucks, sarcasm and red lipstick”
"I run on coffee, sarcasm and lipstick" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “@Sassy_Drunk: I run on Starbucks, sarcasm and red lipstick" -- Starbucks is a popular…
“I said to the waitress, ‘What’s the duck like?’ She said, ‘Like a chicken, but it can swim.’”
Duck is not as popular on menus as chicken. A joke was posted on the newsgroup za.humour on May 15, 1997: "Prince Phillip is in Pretoria on Commonwealth business, and is invited to dine at…
“I said, ‘Make me a Zombie.’ The bartender said, ‘God beat me to it’”
The "Zombie" cocktail (rum and fruit juices) was popularized at the 1939 New York World's Fair. New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a joke in his routine:…