“How do midget waiters get paid?”/“Under the table.”
"Under the table" means secretly or covertly. A riddle was posted on Twitter on June 3, 2010: Q: How do midget waiters get paid?A: Under the table. TwitterBarry Taylor @btjokesFollow…
“How do pirates pay for a round of rum down at the pub?”/“With bar-nickels.”
"Barnacles" sounds like "bar nickels," and, of course, there are jokes. A pirate riddle was posted on Twitter by Laguna Playhouse on April 18, 2011: Q: How do pirates pay for a…
“How do they charge you in a Chinese restaurant?”/“Perpetuate.”
The word "perpetuate" sounds like "per pet you ate." A riddle is: Q: How do they charge you at a Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese restaurant?A: Perpetuate. "Dog show joke is like…
“How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?”/“President Ben Franklin walks into a bar…’”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was a founding father, but he never became president. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 6, 2017: Q: How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?A:…
“How do you get a French waiter’s attention?”/“Start ordering in German.”
A French restaurant riddle is: Q: How do you get a French waiter’s attention?A: Start ordering in German. That is, French waiters will usually ignore you -- except if you are German. (Germany…
“How do you get to Carnegie Deli?” (joke)
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"/"Practice!" is a classic New York City joke. The Carnegie Deli opened in 1937, adjacent to Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Deli announced in late 2016…
“How do you make a hot dog stand?”/“Take away its chair.”
A joke about a hot dog stand is: Q: How do you make a hot dog stand?A: Take away its chair. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1980. "How do you make a bandstand?" is a…
“How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?”/“Allah carte.”
"À la carte" sounds like "Allah carte, prompting the pun: Q: How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?A: Allah carte. The "Allah carte" joke has been cited in print…
“How do you say thank you to a New York sushi chef?”/“Gracias.”
It's well known that, no matter what cuisine a restaurant has, there will be Spanish speakers working in the kitchen. There's a joke about it: Q: How do you say thank you to a New York…
“How does this restaurant prepare the chicken?” (joke)
A restaurant joke about preparing chicken is: WAITER: May I take your order?CUSTOMER: How do you prepare your chickens?WAITER: Oh, we don't do anything special. We just tell them straight out…
“How many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb?” (joke)
A restaurant version of the lightbulb joke is: Q: How many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell you how they did it at their last restaurant. The…
“How many lives were saved by taping arrows to the floors of supermarket aisles?”
At the start of the COVID-19(coronavirus) pandemic, many supermarkets taped arrows on the floor to direct the supermarket cart traffic and promote social distancing. "Did they release the…
“How old were you when you learned that BAR stood for Beer & Alcohol Room?”
"RT @auntiebaecc: How old were you when you learned that BAR stood for Beer & Alcohol Room?" was posted on Twitter by Jay ☥ 𓂀 on December 14, 2018. (The original tweet is no…
“How tf Subway gonna ask me for a tip, bro we made this sandwich together tf”
At Subway sandwich restaurants, the customer instructs how to make the sandwich. Some customers object to giving a tip because they made the sandwich together. "Subway got some nerve asking…
“How the hell did we end up in a nightmare timeline where groceries have become both a luxury item AND a health hazard”
In 2026, there were many grocery racalls, but grocery prices kept increasing. This was posted on X/Twitter by 𝕯𝖞𝖑𝖆𝖓™ on September 9, 2026, and it received over 42,000 likes:…
“How’s the Italian food in this restaurant?”/“Good. Try the veal. It’s the best in the city.”
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. And don't forget to tip your servers" is a classic line that a…
“Husband and I went grocery shopping with masks, got home, took off masks…wrong husband!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Husband and I went grocery shopping with masks. Got home, took off masks, brought home wrong husband! Stay…
“Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A hyperbole version is: "Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely…
“I agree sex is great, but have you ever tried grocery shopping without kids?”
Shopping without kids is a rare "guilty pleasure" for some parents. "Yes sex is great! But have you tried grocery shopping with no kids?? 😂😂" was posted on Facebook by…
“I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?”/“McDonald’s ice cream machine.”
The ice cream machine at McDonald's (a popular fast food restaurant chain) seems to break down often. "The ice cream machine at EVERY McDonald's is ALWAYS broken" was posted on…