“I went to Starbucks and asked for a medium roast. The barista said I had small ears”
A person who enters a coffee shop and orders a “medium roast” probably doesn’t want a light ribbing, but there are many jokes.
“Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the barista made fun of me instead” was posted on Twitter by Ralph Vibar on August 17, 2015. “I went to Starbucks and asked for a medium roast. The barista said I had small ears” was posted on Reddit—Dadjokes on August 27, 2021.
Sometimes three jokes—light roast, medium roast and dark roast—are given, as posted on Twitter by raymark on February 13, 2018.
Wikipedia: Coffee roasting
Roasting coffee transforms the chemical and physical properties of green coffee beans into roasted coffee products. The roasting process is what produces the characteristic flavor of coffee by causing the green coffee beans to change in taste. Unroasted beans contain similar if not higher levels of acids, protein, sugars, and caffeine as those that have been roasted, but lack the taste of roasted coffee beans due to the Maillard and other chemical reactions that occur during roasting.
Twitter
Ralph Vibar
@riff_ralff
Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the barista made fun of me instead
8:48 AM · Aug 17, 2015·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
kethi
@LACTAlD
me: hi! i’ll take a medium roast.
barista: haha ur short as hell, ur feet are wide and i can tell you listen to shitty 2000s pop punk bands
1:11 AM · Apr 5, 2016·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Dominic Antonio
@latissimusdomsi
Customer: “I’ll have a medium roast please.”
Barista: “Girl if your face were any oilier we’d find Texans under those pores.”
8:42 AM · Jun 13, 2016·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
raymark
@RaymarkSays
*starbucks*
Me: Can I get a light roast please?
Barista: Your haircut is bland.
Me: Thanks!
4:54 PM · Feb 13, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
raymark
@RaymarkSays
Replying to @RaymarkSays
*starbucks*
Me: Can I get a medium roast please?
Barista: Your haircut is as bland as your marriage.
Me: Thanks!
4:55 PM · Feb 13, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
raymark
@RaymarkSays
Replying to @RaymarkSays
*starbucks*
Me: Can I get a dark roast please?
Barista: Your haircut makes you look like a cancer patient.
Me: Thanks!
4:56 PM · Feb 13, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
CP3
@cp3_parsons
Replying to @avotoastt
Yes. To “roast” somebody is to make fun of them. So when she ordered a “medium roast” (coffee) the barista inexplicably assumed she meant to slightly make fun of her, rather than order coffee. This is not a very good tweet.
11:18 PM · Mar 1, 2018·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Jim Love
@jim_m_love
Me: “I’ll take a medium roast.”
Starbucks barista: “it’s look like you’ve skipped leg day too many times and your 2 front teeth need their own zip code.”
Me: *mutters under breath* “that felt dark…”
1:08 PM · Mar 2, 2018·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Dragan // Kuruzović
@MovesLikeDragan
[At the coffee shop]
Barista: Hello, what can i get you?
Me: Hi can i please have a medium roast?
Barista: Sure, this joke format is old and overused yet you’re still tweeting it. Please acquire some grips.
Me: *under my breath* damn.
2:39 AM · Mar 5, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Eric Alper
@ThatEricAlper
Me: Hi! Can I get a medium roast, please?
Barista: Sure, you’re short, you look like you haven’t had a haircut since the 80s, and your jacket is dirty.
Me: Damn.
1:00 AM · Mar 7, 2018·Hootsuite
Cyanide and Happiness @ Explosm.net
2018.04.13
By Rob DenBleyker
Customer: COULD I GET A MEDIUM ROAST, PLEASE?
Barista: YOUR SHIRT IS UGLY.
Customer: UH… HOW ABOUT A DARK ROAST?
Barista: IT’S A GOOD THING YOUR MOM’S DEAD SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO SEE THAT SHIRT.
Twitter
Caffeine Crawl
@CaffeineCrawl
Have to say, this is a little funny…
BARISTA: What can I get you?
CUSTOMER: A medium roast, please.
BARISTA: Ok, your gray roots are getting obvious and your shoes don’t match your outfit.
CUSTOMER: *under breath* Damn!
3:31 PM · Apr 26, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
ⓗαmζα Senpai
@HamzaSenpai_
Me to barista: Hey let me get a medium roast
Barista: You’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering. And your elbows ashy
11:49 AM · Mar 6, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
ryanstone cowboy
@rowdyrowdyryno
stopped into the coffee shop and when i asked for a medium roast the barista told me colorful button up shirts dont count as a personality
1:41 PM · Apr 9, 2019·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Chad Opitz
@chadopitz
Me: Could I have a medium roast, please?
Barista: You look like a Beta Yeti.
Me: Perfect, thanks.
1:20 PM · Jun 26, 2019·Twitter Web App
Twitter
A
@assylad_
one joke i will never forget:
*at a coffee shop*
customer: i’d like a medium roast please
barista: you have very average hands
12:31 AM · Oct 16, 2019·Twitter for iPad
Twitter
Doc
@DocAtCDI
(Credit: Cyanide and happiness)
Me as a barista:
Patron: Give me a Medium Roast
Me: That’s an Ugly Shirt
Patron: how about a dark roast instead
Me: Good thing your moms dead so she doesn’t have to see that shirt
My Boss: I’m keeping your final paycheck
4:00 AM · Feb 11, 2020·TweetDeck
Twitter
Andy Roberts
@scaryfish
Barista: What can I get for you?
Me: A medium roast, please.
Barista: No problem. Your fashion sense is crap and your ears stick out.
7:20 PM · Mar 3, 2020·Twitter Web App
Twitter
Chad Opitz
@chadopitz
Me: Could I have a medium roast, please?
Barista: You look like someone who would defend The Phantom Menace in an online argument.
Me: Perfect, thank you.
6:27 PM · Jul 3, 2020·Twitter Web App
Twitter
Laura ℒeigh
@ludivineboots
One time I asked the Starbucks barista for a medium roast and she told me I dressed like a possum picked my clothes out of a dumpster.
4:33 AM · Aug 4, 2020·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Bob Upandown
@bob_upandown
Replying to @daveguitarjones
As I sat down in costas the barista came over, note pad in hand…
What can I get you sir? He asked
“Can I have a medium roast please”??
Certainly sir….
Your hair is thinning and you have the silhouette of a potato…..
12:56 AM · Nov 30, 2020·Twitter for Android
Twitter
z
@deIaurier
me: can I get a medium roast?
barista: yeah, you’re built like a deodorant stick.
11:58 PM · Feb 13, 2021·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Chad Opitz
@chadopitz
Me: Could I get a medium roast, please?
Barista: You look like you own 500 VHS tapes and 5 pairs of pants.
Me: Perfect, thank you.
6:25 PM · May 16, 2021·Twitter Web App
Twitter
k
@_karolynlindsey
i went to starbucks & asked for a medium roast & the barista looked at me & said “you got some average sized ears”
9:28 PM · Jul 29, 2021·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Chad Opitz
@chadopitz
Me: Could I get a medium roast, please?
Barista: You look like yacht rock musician/fast food enthusiast Michael McDonald’s.
Me: Perfect, thank you.
11:19 AM · Aug 18, 2021·Twitter Web App
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/ThisTwoShallPass August 27, 2021
I went to Starbucks and asked for a medium roast
The barista said I had small ears.