“I found this on the local café menu—idemx rilgl. It was mixed grill”
A joke about "mixed grill" is of uncertain authorship. "I found this on the local café menu - idemx rilgl. So I asked the waitress what is it? She said mixed grill" was posted…
“I got a job for the summer filling salt and pepper pots. It’s only seasonal work”
A food joke involves the terms "seasoning" (salt and pepper, in the joke) and "seasonal work." "Why didn't the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?...…
“I got kicked out of a Jewish bakery today. All I did was ask, ‘What’s the challah cost?’”
Challah is a bread of Ashkenazi Jewish origin. "What's the challah cost?" sounds like "What's the holocaust?", and there are jokes. "How much does that challah…
“I have always been suspicious of Wendy’s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature”
Wendy's fast food restaurants serve square hamburgers. This was posted on X/Twitter by Dead Pan Nick on December 5, 2013, and received over 6,900 likes: "I have always been suspicious of…
“I hope the bars open soon. I need to cut down on my drinking”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars/pubs being closed. Liquor stores were left open, and many people made drinks at home. "I hope the Bars open up soon. I need to cut down…
“I hope the grocery stores will put the arrows back on the floor again so I can feel safe”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic in 2020 and 2021, many grocery stores put arrows on the floor so shoppers could walk in one direction. This was widely ridiculed as completely useless in…
“I hope the pubs open soon. I need to cut down on my drinking”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars/pubs being closed. Liquor stores were left open, and many people made drinks at home. "I hope the Bars open up soon. I need to cut down…
“I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink and have music at a normal volume…”
Some people want bars to be more like home. This was posted on Twitter by Katie D on January 21, 2023: "I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink and have music at a normal volume and…
“I just went into my local shop & asked for a bottle of water. Shop keeper said ‘Still water?’ I replied ‘Yeah, I haven’t changed my mind’”
A restaurant joke has a diner order water, and the waiter asks, "Still?" The waiter wants to know if it's "still" or "sparkling" water, but the diner hears this…
“I like my women like I like Little Caesars. Hot and Ready”
Little Caesars pizza restaurants trademarked the slogan "Hot-n-Ready" with a first use date of May 6, 1997. There have been several jokes on the slogan. "I like my girls like I like…
“I like my women like I like my Starbucks. Expensive, bitter and calling me by the wrong name”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
“I like the concept of restaurant appetizers…”
A comment about restaurant appetizers was posted on X/Twitter by Emma Beasley🐝 on July 16, 2024: "I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: 'Bring me something to eat. And bring me…
“I like to do drugs in a Chipotle bathroom. No one questions you if you spend 45 minutes there”
Many people assume that the people who spend a long time in bathroom stalls are doing drugs. "If you didn't spend twenty minutes in the bathroom, we wouldn't think you were doing…
“I like to make lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what’s on the list while at the store”
Many people make supermarket lists, and then forget to take these lists with them to the supermarket. "I like to make lists. I also like to leave them (laying) on the kitchen counter and then…
“I love Chick-Fil-A! I could eat there 24/6”
Chick-fil-A restaurants are closed on Sunday. "24/7" means 24 hours, 7 days a week, and there's a "24/6" joke with Chick-fl-A, but the restaurants are not open 24 hours a…
“I love to make lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what’s on the list while at the store”
Many people make supermarket lists, and then forget to take these lists with them to the supermarket. "I like to make lists. I also like to leave them (laying) on the kitchen counter and then…
“I love when restaurants put ‘market price’ next to certain menu items. Like yeah, I’ve been monitoring scallop futures all week”
Restaurants often put some items, such as seafood, as "market price" (abbreviated "MKT"). That menu item is usually very expensive. "You know a restaurant expensive when a…
“I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats”
"I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Many Asian-American restaurants have a "beckoning cat" figurine…
“I may not be perfect or very good or adequate, but I return shopping carts to their appropriate location”
Returning a shopping cart feels like doing a civic duty, displaying a person's good character. This was posted on X/Twitter by Han Solo Cup on November 9, 2023, and it received over 1,100…
“I opened a bar for men with erectile dysfunction. It was a total flop. Nobody came”
"I opened a club for men with erectile dysfunction too but our first night was a success. We had a soft opening" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 21, 2015. "I opened a nightclub…