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March 4, 2025
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I asked the waiter if I could get 48 pancakes on a single plate. He said he wasn’t sure, that’s a pretty tall order”

The phrase "a tall order" usually means a difficult task, but sometimes it also means literally a tall order. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 18, 2023: "I asked the…

October 18, 2024
Food/DrinkRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I asked the waiter, ‘Is my tomato soup ready?’ He replied, ‘Of course it is. What color did you expect it to be?’”

"Ready" shouldn't be confused with "reddy," but there are jokes. This was posted on Facebook by William Wilson on October 14, 2024" "Ordered tomato soup as a…

November 21, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s for lunch. His mom was furious”

"I ate a kid's meal at Macdonalds earlier today. His mum was furious" was posted on Facebook by Rob Savant on November 9, 2020. "I ate a kid's meal at McDonalds this…

September 29, 2015
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I ate at a family restaurant. Every table had an argument going”

Manhattan-born comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) wrote in his bestselling book, Brain Droppings (1997): "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument…

February 9, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I ate at Mary Poppin’s Restaurant. Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious!”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Mary Poppins (film)Mary Poppins is a 1964 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Robert Stevenson and produced by Walt Disney, with songs written and…

January 13, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I bought a half-chicken at Whole Foods for 20% off and now all math is meaningless to me”

Can you buy a half chicken at Whole Foods? The joke was popularized by American stand-up comedian and actor Brody Stevens (1970-2019). "Whole Foods? Once bought a half-chicken there. Get it?…

December 25, 2014
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders…” (joke)

"I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders, when they said they do, I told them 'run outside naked!'" is a jocular line that has been popular on Twitter. The…

May 20, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I came from a tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant, I sat down and had broken leg of lamb”

"I came from a tough neighborhood," American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) used to say. "In the local restaurant, I sat down and had broken leg of lamb."…

July 16, 2016
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I could see every ketchup bottle in the restaurant. Heinz sight is 20/20”

Heinz dominates the market for ketchup, and there are several puns about "Heinz sight" (hindsight). "If hindsight is 20/20, does that make Heinz-sight 57/57?" was cited in 1999.…

June 13, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)

"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…

January 19, 2023
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I did a lot of dumb stuff, but I never got a fish filet from McDonald’s”

Many people believe that McDonald's (an American multinational fast food chain) is best for hamburgers, and not its fish sandwich. "I did a lot of dumb stuff but I never got a fish filet…

January 7, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket”

"I don't always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. One image involves…

October 14, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I don’t know the secret of happiness, but I’ve never been sad at a Tex-Mex restaurant”

"I don't know the secret to happiness, but I've never been sad at a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I don’t necessarily know the…

October 14, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I don’t know the secret to happiness, but I’ve never been sad at a Mexican restaurant”

"I don't know the secret to happiness, but I've never been sad at a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I don’t necessarily know the…

January 14, 2016
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I don’t trust new cafes. They fill me with uncertain tea”

A popular "tea" pun is: "I don't trust new cafes. They fill me with uncertain tea." The joke was cited on Twitter on July 24, 2015. SickipediaI don't trust new…

February 27, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I don’t usually talk about my expensive trips, but I just got back from the grocery store”

There is a joke about inflation of grocery prices and gas prices. "I don't usually talk about my expensive trips, but I just got back from the grocery store..........." was posted on…

March 8, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresWork/Businesses

“I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I wanna go grocery shopping like it’s 1999”

"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…

March 8, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresWork/Businesses

“I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I wanna grocery shop like it’s 1999”

"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…

March 8, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresWork/Businesses

“I don’t want to party like it’s 1999. I want to grocery shop like it’s 1999”

"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…

October 15, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“I don’t know the secret of happiness, but I’ve never been sad at an Italian restaurant”

"I don't know the secret to happiness, but I've never been sad at a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I don’t necessarily know the…

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About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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