“I walked into a bar and ordered a double…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pun on the terms "double martini" and "body double" is: "I…
“I walked up to the bar and asked for a white wine…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipediabot (the Sickipedia website) on April 21, 2013:…
“I WANNA STOP DRINKING but I realized the owner of the liquor store gotta family to feed”
"I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the…
“I want to be a bartender. Men named Bart… look out”
"Bartender" should not be confused with "Bart ender," but there are jokes. "I want to be a bartender. Men named Bart... look out" was posted on Twitter by Caitlyn Beth…
“I want to open a BDSM-themed sandwich shop called Dom’s Subs”
"Dominance and submission" or "dom/sub" does not apply to "sub" sandwiches, but there are jokes. "thegutlesswonder: a bdsm themed sandwich shop called Dom’s…
“I want to stop drinking coffee but the owner of Starbucks has a family to feed”
"I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the…
“I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed”
"I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the…
“I was drinking at a bar, so i took the bus home…” (joke)
"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that…
“I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift” (joke)
The term "wait a minute" doesn't literally mean that, but there's a joke: "I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift for 60 seconds. I…
“I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian-looking fellow sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer…”
A politically incorrect bar joke from 2011 has an Asian-looking man enter a bar, sit next to the speaker and take a sip of beer. The speaker asks if the man knows any of the martial arts. The man…
“I went into a restaurant with no shirt or shoes and my phone still worked so take that, sign”
Many restaurants have "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" signs. "Good thing your phone company doesn't have one of those 'no shirt no shoes no service' signs" was…
“I went to a buffet restaurant in Northwest Canada the other day. It was all Yukon eat”
"Yukon" sounds like "you can," and there are "All Yukon Eat" jokes. "Alaskan Crab Legs (...) ALL YUKON EAT!!" was in an advertisement in the Daily Press…
“I went to a deli and said, ‘I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese’” (joke)
"I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese" is not always the same as "I'd like to buy a bagel and cream cheese." The following joke (which went viral) was posted on…
“I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family”
A joke about a "family restaurant" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on February 27, 2020: "I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family." Other family…
“I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole!”
The British dish of "toad in the hole" has had some "toed in the hole" sex jokes. This was posted on Twitter on January 21, 2013: "Took the wife out for dinner but all she…
“I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette. I just got a plate with two dots on it!”
"Omelette" shouldn't be confused with "umlaut," but there are jokes. "German restaurant joke.... I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette....I just got a…
“I went to a market that only sold jelly and custard. It was a trifle bazaar”
"Trifle bizarre" (meaning "a bit strange") shouldn't be confused with "trifle bazaar" (meaning "a market that sells trifles"), but there are jokes.…
“I went to a restaurant and the food was all done with special effects. It was CGI Fridays”
A joke about the restaurant chain TGI Fridays is: "I went to a restaurant and the food was all done with special effects. It was CGI Fridays." "'I went to a restaurant and the…
“I went to a restaurant run by cows. They didn’t allow tipping”
Restaurant tipping is not the same as cow tipping, but there are jokes. "Why don’t cows work in restaurants? They kept getting tipped" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on February 22,…
“I went to a vegan restaurant last night. Was told the menu was quite tasty” (joke)
Saying "the menu was tasty" doesn't necessarily mean the actual menu, but a joke was posted on Sickipedia on February 20, 2018: "I went into a vegan restaurant as I was told the…