“Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a crack house for vitamins”
McDonald's specializes in hamburgers. Salads are an afterthought and McDonald's sells very few of them. "Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a crack house for…
“Going to McDonald’s for health food is like going to a crack house for vitamins”
McDonald's specializes in hamburgers. Salads are an afterthought and McDonald's sells very few of them. "Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a crack house for…
“Good Ale, Raw Onions and No Ladies” (McSorley’s Ale House)
"Good Ale, Raw Onions and No Ladies" used to be the slogan of McSorley's Ale House, at 15 East 7th Street. McSorley's has been around since 1854; the Bridge Cafe is older, but…
“Good! Like Nedicks!” (Nedicks Restaurants)
Marty Glickman introduced some sports language, most notably "swis" in basketball. He was the mentor of broadcaster Marv Albert. "Good! Like Nedicks!" was one of Glickman's…
“Groceries are so melodramatic. I took a left turn. I didn’t drop kick you across the back seat, relax”
"Groceries are so melodramatic. I took a left turn. I didn't drop kick you across the back seat, relax" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people put groceries in…
“Grocery shopping has become a real life version of PAC-Man. Avoid everyone, get the fruit”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made grocery shopping a new experience. This was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts -- but later removed by moderators -- on March 22, 2020: "Grocery…
“Grocery store workers ask ‘paper or plastic’ because baggers can’t be choosers”
"Beggar's can't be choosers" is an old proverb. A supermarket joke was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on February 29, 1996: "Checkers at grocery stores always ask…
“Grocery stores advertise ‘restaurant style’; restaurants advertise ‘homestyle’”
What's the difference between "homestyle" and "restaurant style"? "Why do restaurants advertise their food as 'homestyle' yet you see food in the grocery…
“Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store…”
"Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those 'I really overestimated how much I can carry' moments" is a saying that has been printed on several…
“Had no idea why my salad was $175, then the waiter said that they only use beets by Dre”
Beats by Dr. Dre is an audio product and not to be confused with beets, but there are jokes. " I really appreciate your Beets By Dre product, my salads are straight from the hood" was…
“Half a pound of bacon please.”/“Lean back, sir?” (joke)
Some people go to the butcher and order "lean back" bacon. A joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.life.universe.everything on March 28, 1997: Man goes into the Butchers, "Half a…
“Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup…”
Many people have a large collection of take-out food condiments, such as Chinese soy sauce packets, Chinese mustard packets, Taco Bell hot sauce packets and McDonald's ketchup packets. Why not…
“Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Chinese food condiment packets”
Many people have a large collection of take-out food condiments, such as Chinese soy sauce packets, Chinese mustard packets, Taco Bell hot sauce packets and McDonald's ketchup packets. Why not…
“Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Taco Bell hot sauce packets”
Many people have a large collection of take-out food condiments, such as Chinese soy sauce packets, Chinese mustard packets, Taco Bell hot sauce packets and McDonald's ketchup packets. Why not…
“Harry Potter walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Harry Potter version is: “Harry Potter walks into a bar. Because I put them on his…
“Hasta barista, baby”
"Hasta la vista, baby" is a famous line that actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. "Hasta barista, baby" is a line that has been printed on…
“Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a leg”
The expression to cost "an arm and a leg" means something very expensive. A popular cannibal joke is: "Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a…
“Haven’t gotten anything done today. Been in the produce dept., trying to open this stupid bag”
The plastic bags in supermarkets are difficult for many people to open. "Sorry I haven’t gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid…
“Helium walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular science joke is: "Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'We…
“Her (end of a date): We should have dinner again. Him: Thanks, but I’m full.”
"Dinner date" shouldn't be confused with "dinner," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by john on December 21. 2018: [end of a date]her: we should have dinner…