“I’ll have burnt toast and cold coffee” (restaurant customer joke)
An old joke has a sarcastic restaurant customer ordering a terrible breakfast of hard eggs, burned and cold toast, and weak coffee. The waitress tells him that it would be difficult to make. The customer then replies, “That’s what you made for me yesterday!”
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1981.
Google Books
The Catering Industry Employee:
Official Journal of the Hotel and Restaurant Employees’ International Alliance and Bartenders’ International League of America
Volumes 90-91
pg. 50:
1981
In a coffee shop a traveling salesman summoned a waitress and gave her his order, “Two eggs and fry them rock hard. Two slices of toast burned black, and a cup of cold coffee.”
“I can’t do that to you,” the waitress said.
“The heck you can’t,” replied the customer. “You did it for me yesterday.”
Anita Felio
Local II
6 January 1989, Aiken (SC) Standard, “As Ashley Sees It” by Ashley Cooper, pg. 4A, cols. 2-3:
THIS GUY went into a motel restaurant and told the waitress:
“Please bring me one tiny glass of frozen orange juice diluted until you can see through it, two cold and burned pieces of toast, one infinitesimal and frozen pat of butter, scrambled eggs that look like they were cooked the day before yesterday and one piece of bacon cooked so long that, when you try to cut it, it splits into 37 different peices.”
“Hey, what is this?” said the waitress. “We can’t make you a breakfast like that.”
“The heck you can’t.” said the customer. “That’s exactly what you served me yesterday.”
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Bar Jokes
Mr Funny Bone
7/16/98
A Couple Of Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar and says to the barman “Can i have a pint of warm flat beer please?”
the barman says “we don’t server warm flat beer here”
the man replies “Well that’s what you served me yesterday!”
Boards.ie
Shagus
25-05-2001, 14:50
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said, “I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked that it’s runny, and the other so overcooked that it’s tough and hard to eat. Also grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm.”
“That’s a very complicated order sir,” said the bewildered waiter, “It might be quite difficult.”
The guest replied, “But that’s what you served me yesterday!”
Google Books
A Little of What You Fancy
By Louie Jerome
Lulu.com
2009
Pg. ?:
Breakfast Is Served.
A man was sitting in the breakfast room of a very up market hotel, waiting to be served.
When the waiter came to take his order he was very specific in what he wanted.
‘I’d like a full English breakfast with a greasy sausage, hard bacon, a rubbery egg and two slices of burned, cold toast. Could I also have a pot of very weak, luke warm tea to drink please, and a dirty cup.’
‘That is quite a complicated order and it might take some time to get it right, but I’ll do my best,’ said the waiter.
‘I don’t see how it can be that difficult,’ answered the guest. ‘It’s exactly what you served me yesterday.’
Google Books
You think, then you exist.
Jokes not suitable for mothers-in-law and other related animals.
By Domingo Ruiz Aguiler
Lulu.com
2013
Pg. 40:
RESTAURANTS: WITH FRESH FOOD:
-Serve me a plate of rotten salade!
-I can ́t serve you that, sir!
-Well, that ́s what you served me yesterday!
ScottRainey.com
Bogart’s - A Great American Bar in Portland Oregon.
If you have been to Portland, or live there, you already know that.
Here for your viewing pleasure… the back of a Bogart’s menu:
(...)
A traveling salesman in Bogart’s summoned the waiter and gave him his order: “A Bogart Burger, overdone, soggy potato chips, a flat beer and a cup of cold coffee”
“I can’t do that for you:’ the waiter said.
“The heck you can’t:’ replied the customer, “you did it for me yesterday.”