“Restroom is for eating customers only” (restaurant sign)
Restaurants sometimes state that tables or parking or restrooms are "for eating customers only." The joke is that this implies cannibalism of "eating customers" (rather than…
“Rich people splurging: ‘Fuck it, I’II buy a yacht.’ Me splurging: ‘Fuck it, I’m getting an appetizer’”
Some people go to a restaurant and decide to "splurge" by ordering an appetizer. A rich person's "splurge" is quite different. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by 🇭🇹…
“Run like you’re chasing a taco truck”
"Run like you're chasing a taco truck" (or "Run like you're chasing an ice cream truck") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Ice cream trucks…
“Run like you’re chasing an ice cream truck”
"Run like you're chasing a taco truck" (or "Run like you're chasing an ice cream truck") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Ice cream trucks…
“Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet”
"Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet" is an unflattering one-line saying about Taco Bell Tex-Mex fast food restaurants. The line was posted on Twitter on…
“Saved some money this year and bought Halloween candy at Aldi. I hope the kids like Skattles and 4 Musketeers”
Some supermarkets, such as Aldi, sell knock-off candy that is similar to popular brands such as Skittles, M&Ms and 3 Musketeers. Will children still appreciate these copycat candy brands,…
“Saw a fat kid wearing an ‘I Love Hip Hop” shirt. The letters ‘C’ and ‘S’ must have washed off”
"Just seen a fat bird wearing a t-shirt saying ‘I Love hip hop’....... ha ha.... the c and the s must have fallen off!!" was posted on Twitter by dan.e.ligner on February 10, 2011.…
“Saw a market selling nothing but fruit, sherry, custard and sponge fingers. It was a trifle bazaar”
"Trifle bizarre" (meaning "a bit strange") shouldn't be confused with "trifle bazaar" (meaning "a market that sells trifles"), but there are jokes.…
“Schizophrenia beats dining alone”
"Schizophrenia beats dining alone" is a joke that has been credited to American composer Oscar Levant (1906-1972) since at least 2000, but there's no documentary evidence that he…
“Schools are always doing fundraisers, but if they just sold iced coffee in the parent pick up line, they’d be richer than Starbucks by Friday”
Instead of a school fundraiser, why not sell something to parents waiting on a pick-up line? This was posted on Facebook by Passionate Penny Pincher on September 7, 2025, and it received over…
“Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular science joke is: "Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar ... and…
“Schwan’s food was the OG Uber Eats”
Schwan's (a home-delivery food business) has been compared to Uber Eats. "schwans is uber eats for old people" was posted on Twitter by newt on July 17, 2018. "Schwan’s man…
“Schwan’s was the original Uber Eats”
Schwan's (a home-delivery food business) has been compared to Uber Eats. "schwans is uber eats for old people" was posted on Twitter by newt on July 17, 2018. "Schwan’s man…
“Schwan’s was the Uber Eats of the nineties”
Schwan's (a home-delivery food business) has been compared to Uber Eats. "schwans is uber eats for old people" was posted on Twitter by newt on July 17, 2018. "Schwan’s man…
“Shakespeare walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version involving William Shakespeare (the Bard of Avon) is: "Shakespeare walks…
“She said ‘choke me daddy’ so I gave her two Popeyes biscuits without a drink”
"She said 'choke me daddy' so I gave her two Popeyes biscuits without a drink" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Popeyes is an American multinational chain of…
“Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria; socks can eat any place they want”
"Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria" is an old joke sign that supposedly appeared in a college cafeteria in 1975. Underneath the sign was scribbled, "Socks can eat any place…
“Simply Good Taste” (Cosi Sandwich Bar)
Cosi Sandwich Bar (or just "Cosi") began in New York City in 1996. It's now a sandwich chain found in several states. "Simply Good Taste" is its not-too-well-known slogan.…
“Since everyone started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste”
"Since everyone started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulting…
“Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An unusual variation of the joke is: "Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed…