“Pythagoras walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Pythagorean theorem version is: "Pythagoras walks into a bar and says, 'Which…
“Quasimodo walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving the fictional character Quasimodo is: "Quasimodo walks into a bar…
“Remember what the valet who parked your car looks like. We don’t have valet parking”
"Remember what the valet who parked your car looks like because we don't have valet parking" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several signs. The sign was posted on…
“Restaurant idea: Chicken joint named ‘Icarus’ Hot Wings’”
In Greek mythology, Icarus obtained wings, but flew too close to the sun and they melted. An Icarus joke has been printed on several images that Icarus probably wouldn't have liked "hot…
“Restaurant toilets are so dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished!”
"Restaurant toilets are so dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. It's the the problem of…
“Restaurants always use ‘crispy’ as opposed to ‘fried’ to make it sound healthier”
Does "crispy" sound healthier than "fried"? "I get the crispy chicken salad to make fried chicken sound healthier" was posted on Twitter by Wilson E on November 16,…
“Restaurants are just gas stations for people”
Cars need fuel, but people need a certain fuel as well. "Starbucks is like the gas station for people" was posted on Twitter on September 22, 2009. "Coffee shops are like gas…
“Restaurants omit pants in ‘no shoes, no shirt, no service’ because they serve bottomless brunch”
A "bottomless brunch" is a brunch that has a fixed price, for many dishes of food and unlimited drinks. It does not mean that the diners do not wear pants, but there are jokes.…
“Restaurants place drinks on the last page of the menu, but drinks are ordered first”
Most restaurants list drinks of the last page of a menu, but drink orders are usually taken first. "Drinks are the first things you order in a restaurant. Why are they always on the last page…
“Restaurants where they wait on you hand and foot charge you an arm and a leg”
Something that "costs an arm and a leg" is something that is expensive. A place that caters to customers "hand and foot" is a place that satisfies all of its customers'…
“Restroom is for eating customers only” (restaurant sign)
Restaurants sometimes state that tables or parking or restrooms are "for eating customers only." The joke is that this implies cannibalism of "eating customers" (rather than…
“Rich people splurging: ‘Fuck it, I’II buy a yacht.’ Me splurging: ‘Fuck it, I’m getting an appetizer’”
Some people go to a restaurant and decide to "splurge" by ordering an appetizer. A rich person's "splurge" is quite different. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by 🇭🇹…
“Run like you’re chasing a taco truck”
"Run like you're chasing a taco truck" (or "Run like you're chasing an ice cream truck") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Ice cream trucks…
“Run like you’re chasing an ice cream truck”
"Run like you're chasing a taco truck" (or "Run like you're chasing an ice cream truck") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Ice cream trucks…
“Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet”
"Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet" is an unflattering one-line saying about Taco Bell Tex-Mex fast food restaurants. The line was posted on Twitter on…
“Saw a fat kid wearing an ‘I Love Hip Hop” shirt. The letters ‘C’ and ‘S’ must have washed off”
"Just seen a fat bird wearing a t-shirt saying ‘I Love hip hop’....... ha ha.... the c and the s must have fallen off!!" was posted on Twitter by dan.e.ligner on February 10, 2011.…
“Saw a market selling nothing but fruit, sherry, custard and sponge fingers. It was a trifle bazaar”
"Trifle bizarre" (meaning "a bit strange") shouldn't be confused with "trifle bazaar" (meaning "a market that sells trifles"), but there are jokes.…
“Schizophrenia beats dining alone”
"Schizophrenia beats dining alone" is a joke that has been credited to American composer Oscar Levant (1906-1972) since at least 2000, but there's no documentary evidence that he…
“Schools are always doing fundraisers, but if they just sold iced coffee in the parent pick up line, they’d be richer than Starbucks by Friday”
Instead of a school fundraiser, why not sell something to parents waiting on a pick-up line? This was posted on Facebook by Passionate Penny Pincher on September 7, 2025, and it received over…
“Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular science joke is: "Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar ... and…