"Waiter! Do you have frogs'…

“Waiter, do you have frogs’ legs?” is an old joke. The diner wants to know if the restaurant has frogs’ legs on the menu, but the joke refers to the waiter’s legs.

“Did the fishman have frog’s legs, Bridget?” was cited in the New York City humor magazine Life in 1891. American actor and comedian Groucho Marx (1890-1977) addressed this to waitresses, according to a 1954 biography, telling them, “When I say, ‘Do you have frog’s legs?’ you’re supposed to answer, ‘No, rheumatism makes me walk this way.’”

A different version was cited in 1971:

“‘I say, waiter — do you have frogs’ legs?”
“Certainly, sir.”
“Good — hop over the counter and get me a cheese sandwich.”

“Took a girl to a French restaurant. She had frogs’ legs and chicken breasts. Great personality though!” is a related joke.

Google Books
12 February 1891, Life (New York, NY), pg. 103:
“DID THE FISHMAN HAVE FROG’S LEGS, BRIDGET?”
“SURE I COULDN’T SEE, MUM: HE HAD HIS PANTS ON.”

Old Fulton NY Post Cards
12 June 1925, The Steuben Courier (Bath, NY), “Office Cat” by Junius, pg. 2, col. 5:
Man (to waitress); Do you have frog’s legs?
Waitress.; How dare you ! ! !

Google Books
Life with Groucho
By Arthur Marx
New York, NY: Simon & Schuster
1954
Pp. 55-56:
“Miss,” he might begin, glancing up from the menu, “do you have frog’s legs?” “I’ll ask the chef,” she’d reply. “No; you’re not supposed to say that,” Groucho would explain in a patient tone. “When I say, ‘Do you have frog’s legs?’ you’re supposed to answer, ‘No, rheumatism makes me walk this way.’ O.K., now let’s try it again. Miss, do you have frog’s legs?” Her face would go blank. “It isn’t on the menu. I’ll have to ask the chef.”

Google Books
February 1961, Boys’ Life, “Think and Grin,” pg. 78, col. 4:
Boy: Oh, waiter.
Waiter: Yes sir.
Boy: Do you have frogs legs?
Waiter: No sir. J always walk this way. — Mike Fitzgerald, Chicago 20, III.

11 February 1962, San Diego (CA) Union “Fun Time—The Chuckle Box,” pg. A35, col. 2:
Customer: Waiter, do you have frog’s legs?
Waiter: No sir. I always walk this way.

Google News Archive
3 August 1967, The Free Lance-Star, “Fun Time—The Riddle Box,” pg. 8, col. 2:
Diner: Waiter, do you have frogs’ legs?
Waiter: No. It’s my tight pants that make me walk like this.

Google Books
“I say, I say!”
Great Britain’s best corny jokes and the debatable wit and wisdom of Michael Watts
By Michael Watts
London: Sidgwick and Jackson
1971
Pg. 69:
‘I say, waiter — do you have frogs’ legs?’
‘Certainly, sir.’
‘Good — hop over the counter and get me a cheese sandwich.’ —Oi!

Google News Archive
16 February 1972, Spartanburg (SC) Herald, “Your Good Taste in Serious Doubt” by Don MacLean, pg. A4, col. 7:
“I say, waiter, do you have frogs’ legs?” “Certainly sir.” “Then hop over to the counter and get me a cheese sandwich.”

Google Books
June 1975, Boys’ Life, “Think & Grin,” pg. 64, col. 3:
Diner: Waiter, do you have frogs’ legs?
Waiter: Yes, sir.
Diner: Then hop into the kitchen and get me a sandwich ! — Scott Clanton, Hyattsville, Md.

Google News Archive
17 October 1978, The Free Lance-Star (Fredericksburg, VA), “Fun Time—The Chuckle Box,” pg. 6, col. 2:
Customer: Do you have frogs legs?
Waiter: Yes.
Customer: Well, hop in the kitchen and get me a plate of soup.

Google News Archive
28 March 1985, The Free Lance-Star (Fredericksburg, VA), “Fun Time—The Chuckle Box,” pg. 42, col. 3:
Customer: Waiter, do you have frog’s legs?
Waiter: No sir, I always walk this way.

Google Groups: misc.education.home-school.christian
jokes
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
12/21/94
(...)
Lady Diner: “Pardon me, but do you have frog’s legs?”
Waiter: “Yes, and the cook has chicken wings.”

Google News Archive
31 May 1995, The Spokesman-Review (Spokane, WA), pg. G4, col. 1:
Diner: “Waiter, do you have frog’s legs?”
Waiter: ‘No, I just walk this way!”

Google Groups: alt.drunken.bastards
t
Jaz
9/5/96
(...)
Pope JazTramp - Waiter! Do you have frog’s legs? You do? Okay leap over the bar and get me a facking beer!

Google Groups: aus.jokes
Waiter Waiter!
Nancy Carson
4/21/97
Customer: Waiter Waiter, there’s a button on my potato. Waiter: Well you did ask for a jacket potato. Customer: Waiter Waiter, there’s a fly in my wine. Waiter: Well you did ask for wine with body in it. Customer: Waiter Waiter, do you have frog’s legs? Waiter: Yes sir, this is the very finest of French Restaurants. Customer: Well hop over to the kitchen and get me a plate of egg and chips

Google Groups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc
What is the thing with guys?
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
2/15/00
(...)
I’ve always been smitten with: “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Yes.” “Well then, hop into the kitchen and make me a cheeseburger.”

Twitter
fundoofun
@fundoofun
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog’s legs?
Certainly, Sir!
Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!
6:00 AM - 15 Mar 2009

Twitter
Fozzie Bear
@Fozzie_Bear
Waiter! Do you have frog’s legs?—waiter: No, it’s just the way I’m standing.
8:23 AM - 26 Oct 2009

The Amazingly Lame Joke of the Day
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Waiter! Waiter! Do you have frog’s legs?
No sir, it’s just the way I’m standing.
Posted by Tim Wycislak at 7:02 AM

“Waiter! Do you have frogs’ legs?”/“No, I always walk this way.”