“Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemistry joke is: "Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar. The bartender says,…
“Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemistry version is: "Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a…
“Paging Donner party of six” (restaurant joke)
The Donner Party is a tragic story of western United States migration in 1846-47. Mistakes and storm conditions caused the deaths of many, leading to cannibalism so that some could survive. When a…
“Panera Bread makes fast food for people who think they are too good to eat fast food”
Panera Bread is a fast casual restaurant. That is, it's fast food, but meant for casual, often in-store dining. It's also more expensive than some fast food restaurants. This was posted…
“Panera is literally glorified hospital food”
Panera Bread, an American multinational chain of bakery-café fast casual restaurants, has sometimes been criticized as tasting like hospital food. Panera has also been criticized as being too…
“Panera is the perfect choice when you’re not sick but you’re craving hospital food. And you’re like, my bank balance is too high”
Panera Bread, an American multinational chain of bakery-café fast casual restaurants, has sometimes been criticized as tasting like hospital food. Panera has also been criticized as being too…
“Panera sells overpriced hospital food and everyone just seems to be okay with that”
Panera Bread, an American multinational chain of bakery-café fast casual restaurants, has sometimes been criticized as tasting like hospital food. Panera has also been criticized as being too…
“Parking is for eating customers only” (restaurant sign)
Restaurants sometimes state that tables or parking or restrooms are "for eating customers only." The joke is that this implies cannibalism of "eating customers" (rather than…
“Pavlov walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov (1849=1936) is: "Pavlov walks…
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Pun.meApril 15, 201640 Best Dad Jokes which are embarrassingly awful!(...)40. People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the…
“People go to a restaurant for the food, but come back for the service”
"People go to a restaurant for the food, but come back for the service" is a popular restaurant adage. Many restaurants serve good food, but the restaurant that also provides good service…
“People who aren’t nice to waiters aren’t nice people”
"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person" was written by newspaper humor columnist Dave Barry in 1998. ""People who aren't nice to…
“People who argue over the price of bread in a kosher bakery are challah-cost deniers”
Challah is a bread of Ashkenazi Jewish origin. "What's the challah cost?" sounds like "What's the holocaust?", and there are jokes. "How much does that challah…
“People who help you find what you’re looking for at liquor stores should be called ‘spirit guides’”
"People who help you find what you're looking for at liquor stores should be called 'spirit guides'" is a jocular saying (a pun based on the double meaning of…
“People who like to drink know when liquor stores close. Alcoholics know when liquor stores open”
"If you know when the liquor store closes you are crafty. If you know when the liquor store opens you are an alcoholic" was posted on Twitter by Griffin Danes on June 14, 2013.…
“People who upload menu photos to the Google Maps listings of restaurants are the backbone of society”
Many people use Google Maps to find restaurants in a certain area, and some people have added restaurant menus to the maps. This was posted on Threads by elwxnz on January 24, 2026, and it received…
“Pepsi & Coke can’t even be in the same restaurant together…and you want world peace”
"Pepsi & Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together...and you want world peace" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Pepsi and Coke are rival soda companies.…
“Pheidippides walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A marathon runner variation is: "A marathon runner walks into a bar. The bartender…
“Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens”
"Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2012.…
“Please be patient with the bartender. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time”
"Please be patient with the bartender/server. Even a toilet can handle/serve only one asshole at a time" is a sign at bars and restaurants that has been shown on many images.…