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November 16, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceFood/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish dogs lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and leftover fries still tasted good heated up”

"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…

April 2, 2025
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish I loved anything as much as my dog loves every single food item that he sees me starting to eat”

Dogs often watch (with envy) people eating food. This was posted on X/Twitter by 🌜🤷‍♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷‍♂️🌛 on August 20, 2024: "I wish I loved anything as…

November 15, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceFood/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and cake didn’t make you fat and people weren’t idiots”

"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…

November 15, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceFood/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and cake didn’t make you fat and people weren’t twats”

"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…

November 15, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceFood/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn’t suck”

"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…

July 24, 2025
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish that children didn’t grow up so quickly, dogs lived longer, coffee was free, and more minds were open”

"I wish that children didn't grow up so quickly, (that) dogs lived longer, (that) coffee was free, and (that) more minds were open" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…

July 24, 2025
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I wish that children didn’t grow up so quickly, that dogs lived longer, that coffee was free and that more minds were open”

"I wish that children didn't grow up so quickly, (that) dogs lived longer, (that) coffee was free, and (that) more minds were open" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…

December 6, 2017
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Work/Businesses

“I work hard so my dog can have a better life”

"I work hard so my dog can have a better life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Working hard so my dog can have a better life!" was posted on Twitter…

January 3, 2007
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I’m like horse manure in a rodeo (i.e., everywhere)” (Liz Smith)

Liz Smith (1923-2017) a nationally syndicated gossip columnist. She's based in New York City, but she was born in Fort Worth, Texas and educated at the University of Texas (Austin). Every once…

April 19, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I’m only taking friend requests from cats”

"Please understand I am only taking new friend requests from dogs" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images. "Just fyi, I'm only accepting facebook friend…

April 19, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I’m only taking friend requests from dogs”

"Please understand I am only taking new friend requests from dogs" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images. "Just fyi, I'm only accepting facebook friend…

May 21, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider”

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" is a saying from the 1700s and 1800s, when horses were used for transportation (and eating the horse would be a last resort). "I'm so…

December 20, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine. He’s a Bordeaux collie”

Is a "Bordeaux collie" (Bordeaux wine + Border Collie) a dog that will bring red wine? "Bordeaux collie" has been cited in print since at least 1995 and has been printed on…

October 28, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If cats could talk to cops, they wouldn’t”

"If cats could talk to cops, they wouldn't" is a meme that has been printed on many images. The meme combines the sayings "If cats could [X}, they wouldn't" with…

January 5, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t”

"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The joke is that cats are self-centered and lazy. "If cats could text you…

September 23, 2019
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If having dogs has taught me anything, it’s how to eat cookies VERY quietly”

"If having dogs has taught me anything, it's how to eat cookies VERY quietly" is a cookie saying that has been printed on many images. "If having dogs has taught me anything,…

March 26, 2021
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“If I wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I’d ask my dog”

"To these athletes thinking we are listening to them: If I wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I'd ask my dog" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "To…

August 22, 2018
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If it weren’t for dogs, some people would never go for a walk”

Many people get exercise only when they walk their dogs. "If it weren't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk" is a saying that was printed in a 1968 book and a 1977…

September 19, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If my cat makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room”

"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…

September 20, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If my dog makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room”

"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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