“I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats”
"I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Many Asian-American restaurants have a "beckoning cat" figurine…
“I made chili con carne from Scratch. I’ll miss Scratch. He was a good dog!”
Some home-cooked meals are said to be made "from scratch." "My Korean girlfriend made me dinner earlier.... a pie made from scratch. Gutted. Bloody loved that dog" is a joke…
“I once played horse chestnut fighting with a giantess. She had to stoop to conker”
She Stoops to Conquer (1773) is a comedy by the Anglo-Irish author Oliver Goldsmith. A "conker" is a horse-chestnut. "I'm too old to go chucking sticks at the branches of a…
“I only say ‘I love you to 1. Family 2. Lifelong Friends 3. Dogs that I met 3.5 seconds ago”
Many people immediately fall in love with dogs. "I be saying I love you to dogs I just met 4 seconds ago... And I’ll mean that shit too 🐶 ❤️" was posted on X/Twitter by Papa…
“I played a great horse yesterday. It took seven horses to beat him”
A classic racetrack joke is: "I bet on a wonderful horse. It took seven horses to beat him." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1942. New York-born comedian Joe E. Lewis…
“I played frisbee with my dog today. I think I need a flatter dog”
"I try to do a bit of exercise every now and then. Last week I was playing Frisbee with my dog, It wasn't very good. I'll have to get a flatter dog" is a joke from Irish actor…
“I recently bought a shire horse. My existing horse was too outgoing”
LaffGaff Shire Horse by LaffGaff March 27, 2026 I recently bought a shire horse. My existing horse was too outgoing.
“I run on caffeine, cats and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I think my cat might be a communist. He won’t shut up about Mao”
Mao Zedong should now be confused with "meow" (what a cat says), but there are jokes. "They fear the cat is a Communist, however, pointing out, 'He's a meow-ist'"…
“I think the reason we’re born with two hands is so that we can pet two dogs at once”
"God gave us two hands so we can pet two dogs at once" is a saying that has been printed on many images. An older "two hands" saying, "God has given us two hands, one to…
“I threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant, I know, but it was his 21st birthday”
People often throw a ball to a dog. It's usually not a dress ball that's thrown, but there are jokes. "I threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant, I know, but it was his 21st…
“I threw my dog a ball. Extravagant I know, but she looks gorgeous in an evening gown”
People often throw a ball to a dog. It's usually not a dress ball that's thrown, but there are jokes. "I threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant, I know, but it was his 21st…
“I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned”
Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…
“I tried to find out exactly how loud my dog’s bark was. But I could only get a ruff estimate”
"Rough estimate" shouldn't be confused with "ruff estimate," but there are jokes that have been printed on many images. "I tried to find out exactly how loud my…
“I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters”
"I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters" is a popular joke that has been printed on several images. "XD RT @sickipediabot I used to be in…
“I want to be the person my dog thinks I am”
"I want to be the person my dog thinks i am" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many slightly different forms of the saying. Dog owners want to feel…
“I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked ‘Add to cart’”
Online shopping often has the option "Add to cart." This cart doesn't involve a horse, but a joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 29, 2010: "I was shopping…
“I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit…” (joke)
A joke -- cited in pint since at least 1991 -- has a man walking on the sidewalk when he slips on dog shit. He gets up, and then another person slips on the same dog shit. "I just did…
“I went to a restaurant last night which had horse on the menu. The starter wasn’t very good, but the mane was excellent!”
A joke about eating horse was posted on Sickipedia on May 4, 2025: "I went to a restaurant last night which had horse on the menu. The starter wasn't very good, but the mane was…
“I went to a zoo and it had only one animal—a dog. It was a Shih Tzu”
"I went to a zoo the other day and it had only one animal -- a dog. It was a Shih Tzu (shit zoo)" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited in print…