“I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives”
Many people love dogs -- even more than they love other people. "I don't care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I don’t care who likes me. Except dogs. I want dogs to like me”
"I don't care what anyone thinks of me. Except dogs. I want dogs to like me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't care what anyone thinks of me.…
“I don’t have a dog in that fight”
President George Bush and political advisor and cabinet member James Baker (both from Texas) have been credited by William Safire for using "I don't have a dog in that fight" in the…
“I don’t know what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has a cone around its neck”
"'I don’t know what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has a cone around its neck.' -- @Sheila_Mac420 (via @SelenaMaranjian)" was posted on Facebook by Mark…
“I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop”
"I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor" is a jocular saying that has been prints on GIFs. The saying was posted by "A…
“I have a horse named Mayo. Mayo neighs”
"Mayonnaise" sounds like "mayo neighs." A group of singers were called the "Mayo-Neighs" according to a 1968 newspaper. A horse was named "May O'Neighs"…
“I have a pet manatee named Hugh. I built him a house. It’s a habitat for Hugh manatee”
Habitat for Humanity builds houses for underserved communities. "Humanity" can sound like "Hugh Manatee," and there are jokes. "Habitat for Hugh, Manatee…
“I honestly don’t care what you think of me. Except your dog… I really want your dog to like me”
Some people like dogs more than people. "I honestly don't care what you think of me. Except your dog..I really want your dog to like me" was posted on Facebook by "It's…
“I just caught my cat licking a bar of soap and I can only assume that he’s either a weirdo or he’s punishing himself for swearing again”
Why do cats sometimes lick a bar of soap? Cats clean themselves, but they don't use soap for that. Is it because cats use swear words and have to "wash out the mouth with soap"?…
“I left my dog for this?”
"I left my dog for this?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I left my dog to be here...this better be good" is another saying that has been printed on…
“I left my dog to be here so it better be good”
"I left my dog for this?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I left my dog to be here...this better be good" is another saying that has been printed on…
“I left my dog to be here…this better be good”
"I left my dog for this?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I left my dog to be here...this better be good" is another saying that has been printed on…
“I like cats, too. Let’s exchange recipes”
"I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts and bumper stickers. The joke was posted to the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on…
“I like when animals are named after the thing they do like flies and horse”
Flies are called that because they fly, but what about other creatures? This joke was posted on X/Twitter (it is now set to private) by Jaclyn on May 30, 2025, and it received over 148,000 likes:…
“I look normal, but I talk to dogs like they’ll reply to me”
Facebook im not right in the head.com March 27, 2026 at 3:10 PM · Shared by the abnormal Kenneth Wright (The following text is shown on an image. -- ed.) I LOOK NORMAL BUT I TALK TO DOGS LIKE…
“I love cooking children and dogs. But hate using commas”
"I love cooking children and dogs but I hate punctuating my sentences" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter on April 3, 2011. "I love cooking children and dogs but I hate…
“I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean my dog”
"I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean coffee. Coffee is my friend. I love having coffee with coffee" and "I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean…
“I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats”
"I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Many Asian-American restaurants have a "beckoning cat" figurine…
“I made chili con carne from Scratch. I’ll miss Scratch. He was a good dog!”
Some home-cooked meals are said to be made "from scratch." "My Korean girlfriend made me dinner earlier.... a pie made from scratch. Gutted. Bloody loved that dog" is a joke…
“I once played horse chestnut fighting with a giantess. She had to stoop to conker”
She Stoops to Conquer (1773) is a comedy by the Anglo-Irish author Oliver Goldsmith. A "conker" is a horse-chestnut. "I'm too old to go chucking sticks at the branches of a…