“I always give 100%. Which is why I lost my job as an exam marker”
Should one always give 100% (or 110%) at work? "I always give 110%. That's why I lost my job In the examination bored" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lewis Gardiner on…
“I always have a quotation for everything—it saves original thinking”
"I always have a quotation for everything -- it saves original thinking" was written by English crime novelist Dorothy L. Sayers (1893-1957) in Strong Poison: Have His Carcase (1932). The…
“I always have a well-balanced breakfast of coffee and more coffee”
A "balanced breakfast" usually means a variety of breakfast items, such as eggs, bacon, cheese, oatmeal, cereal, milk, orange juice and coffee. To some people, a "balanced…
“I always have a well-balanced breakfast of coffee, coffee, and a little more coffee”
A "balanced breakfast" usually means a variety of breakfast items, such as eggs, bacon, cheese, oatmeal, cereal, milk, orange juice and coffee. To some people, a "balanced…
“I always pick the checkout aisle with the most attractive cashier. The self-checkout”
Some people look for the checkout with the hottest-looking cashier. "I always pick out the best looking cashier at the market, self check out lane it is" was posted on Twitter on…
“I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that crap up”
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
“I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up”
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
“I always regret making a good first impression. Because there’s no way I can keep that up for long”
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
“I always say thank you to Alexa so that when the machines take over they know I am nice”
Some people say "please" and "thank you" even to a virtual assistant such as Siri or Amazon Alexa. The reason? "Nah, just practicing for when the machines take over? RT…
“I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, and I’m like okay…”
"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…
“I always start my diet on the same day—tomorrow”
"I always start my diet on the same day -- tomorrow" is a jocular one-liner about people who never do start a diet. "I always start my diet on the same day: tomorrow" was cited…
“I always tell my kids to stay in school. But they keep coming back”
"Stay in school" means that students shouldn't drop out, but some parents take this literally. "Every morning I tell my kids how important it is for them to stay in school...…
“I always thought growing lettuce would be hard. Turns out it’s not rocket science”
"Its not record science" -- that is, it's not complicated -- is an expression that has been popular since at least the 1980s. “It’s not rocket salad” is a joke based on the…
“I always thought the record would stand until it was broken”
On July 15, 1980, Cincinnati Reds catcher Johnny Bench hit his 314th career home run, passing New York Yankees catcher Yogi Berra (1925-2015) to become the all-time home run leader among major…
“I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back”
"To go the extra mile" means to do extra work. It doesn't mean to escape work, but there's a popular joke: "I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always…
“I always wait 3 minutes after each tweet for the applause to die down”
A performer before a live audience often waits for applause to die down before beginning the next number. Some people like to think the same thing happens on X/Twitter. Since this is my best tweet…
“I always wake up at the crack of ice”
New York-born comedian and singer Joe E, Lewis (1902-1971) was known for drinking and staying up late in night clubs. He was not known for getting up at the crack of dawn. Lewis was quoted in a…
“I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants”
"Chants" sounds like "chance." "I've always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never really had the chants!" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2017. "I…
“I always wanted to try juggling. I just never had the balls to”
"I always wanted to try juggling, but I never had the balls" is a jocular one-liner about juggling. "I've always wanted to try juggling..I've just never had the balls to do…
“I am 100% in support of mandatory vacations for everyone and booster vacations every 4 months”
"I know this is controversial. But I am 100% in support of mandatory vacations for everyone and booster vacations every 4 months" is a joke that has been printed on many images.…