“I am known at the gym as the ‘before picture’”
"I am known at the gym as the 'before picture'" is a jocular line. The "before picture" means someone who is out of shape, before training. "I am known at the gym…
“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept”
The Serenity Prayer is: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." "If I'm not…
“I am not a ‘glass half full’ type of person. I am a ‘where did I put my glass’ kind of person”
"I am not a 'glass half full' type of person. I am a 'where did I put my glass' kind of person" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Is the…
“I am not a conspiracy theorist. I am an ‘it’s fucking obvious’ theorist”
Many "conspiracy theories" played out as truth in 2020 and 2021, during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "I'm done with conspiracy theorist. I'm more into 'Yo,…
“I am not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy”
"I am not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy" is a jocular shopping saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not a shopaholic, I'm just helping the…
“I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon”
"I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Early bird? Night owl? I pick…
“I am not bound to win, but I’m bound to be true”
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) was credited with a line that appeared in many newspapers in 1904: “I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live…
“I am not drunk! Who would name their kid Drunk?”
"No! For the last time stop asking if I am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid Drunk?" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The line was posted on…
“I am not emotionally prepared for tomorrow to be Monday”
"I am not emotionally prepared for tomorrow to be Monday" is a Sunday saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week. The saying was common…
“I am not going outside until the temperature is above my age”
"I'm not going outside until (the) temperature is above my age" is a winter saying that has been printed on many images. The older one gets, the hotter the temperature needed.…
“I am now ‘take a picture of labels with my phone so I can blow it up bigger and read it’ years old”
"I am now 'take a picture of labels with my phone so I can blow it up bigger and read it' years old" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I am now…
“I am now at the age where picking up a hottie at the club means buying a rotisserie chicken at Costco”
Costco is a "club" (a warehouse club of retail stores), but it's not a nightclub. There are jokes about going to "the club." "if by 'picking up hotties at the…
“I am officially ‘they don’t make music like this no more’ years old”
Many people believe that the music of the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s is vastly better than the music of the 2000s. This was posted on X/Twitter by 😊✌🏾 on April 4, 2021, and received over 44,000…
“I am presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per hour”
"I am currently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFS per hour" (WTF = What The Fuck) is a saying that has been printed on many images. There are several minor variations. "is…
“I am pushing sixty—that is enough exercise for me”
"I am pushing fifty/sixty -- that is enough exercise for me" is an old joke. Mark Twain (the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemons, 1835-1910) is frequently credited, but Twain never said…
“I am rarely more focused on 5 seconds than when I’m waiting to skip an ad on the internet”
Many people intently wait five seconds so they can click to skip ads on YouTube. "I’m never more focused than when the 'You can skip this ad in 5 seconds' ticker starts counting…
“I am scared of non-alcoholic lager. It must be a faux beer”
"Faux beer" sounds like "phobia." "I think i have a faux beer phobia" was posted on Twitter on May 7, 2009. "My dad is scared of fake alcohol. He has a faux…
“I am self employed. If you see me talking to myself, do not disturb. I’m having a staff meeting”
"Please note that I am self employed. So if you see me talking to myself, please do not disturb. I'm having a staff meeting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I am so glad that I don’t have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live”
"I am so glad that I don't have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm so glad I don't…
“I am so proud of my Dyslexic daughter. She has managed to get in the school Brass Band. Playing the Toblerone”
"Trombone" (a musical instrument in the brass family) shouldn't be confused with "Toblerone" (a Swiss chocolate brand), but there are jokes. "I am so proud of my…