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February 8, 2020
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Would the makers of a movie about a flat earth accept a Golden Globe award?”

"Would the makers of a movie about flat earth accept a Golden Globe?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Zach Stewart on January 8, 2019. "Would the makers of a movie about a…

April 1, 2012
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Would you buy a used car from this man?”

"Would you buy a used car from this man?" was a joke told at the July 1960 Democratic National Convention about Republican presidential challenger Richard Nixon; the slogan was put on a…

January 2, 2017
Food/Drink

“Would you like a glass of water?”/“I’m thirsty, not dirty.”

A classic drinking saying has one person ask for something to drink. "Would you like a glass of water?" replies the other. "I'm thirsty, not dirty!" the person explains.…

October 26, 2010
Food/Drink

“Would you like some cheese with that whine?”

Wine and cheese is a popular combination. "Would you like some cheese with that whine?" is a joke saying that dates in print to at least 1991. The saying was made popular in the early…

February 24, 2025
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/CircusRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Would you like to hear the specials?” (restaurant joke)

A waiter or waitress often tells diners about the day’s special menu. This doesn't mean that diners want to hear The Specials (an English 2 tone and ska revival band), but there are jokes.…

December 19, 2019
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Would you like to hear today’s special?” (restaurant joke)

A waiter or waitress often tells diners about the day's special menu. "Today's special" does not mean that the day itself is special, but there are jokes. This was posted on…

July 28, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Would you like to see a model home?”/“Sure! When does she get off work?”

New York City-born comedian and actor Milton Berle (1908-2002) was quoted with this joke in the January 1943 Reader's Digest: "Would you like to see a model home?" "Glad to.…

January 5, 2016
Transportation

“Would you like to share a cab?” (joke)

Many jokes were told about New York City's dangerous economic times in the 1970s. Comedian Marty Allen told this joke in 1975: "A visitor to New York was asked at the airport by a…

March 15, 2025
Food/Drink

“Would you maybe like to meet up somewhere in the woods and just scream? We could get coffee after”

"Would you maybe like to meet up somewhere in the woods and just scream? We could get coffee after" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "This weekend anyone…

July 17, 2017
Education/Schools

“Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called ‘Headmaster?’”

"Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called 'Headmaster?'" is a popular pun. The jocular question was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…

November 10, 2025
Food/DrinkSports/Games

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to dump Gatorade on the losing head coach?”

A "Gatorade shower" is often given to a winning coach by the team's players. Some people believe that a losing coach should suffer through this unusual sports ritual. "It makes…

October 24, 2024
Food/Drink

“Wouldn’t an ‘all butter croissant’ be butter?”

What is an "all butter croissant"? And do you put butter on it? "How is it that an 'all butter' croissant is not just a big pile of butter...?" was posted on X/Twitter…

May 2, 2021
The Big Apple1980s-present: Big Apple work by Gerald Cohen, Barry Popik

“Wow! BoJack and Todd in the Big Apple!” (BoJack Horseman episode, 2016)

BoJack Horseman is an American adult animated tragicomedy sitcom. In season 3, episode 1, "Start Spreading The News" that originally aired on July 22, 2016, BoJack promoted his film…

May 3, 2021
Radio/Television

“Wow! BoJack and Todd in the Big Apple!” (BoJack Horseman episode, 2016)

BoJack Horseman is an American adult animated tragicomedy sitcom. In season 3, episode 1, "Start Spreading The News" that originally aired on July 22, 2016, BoJack promoted his film…

March 25, 2020
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“Wow.. bars, clubs, and gyms all closed? My life is about to seriously be exactly the same”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many closings. A joke was posted on Twitter by danielle weisberg on March 15, 2020: "Wow.. bars, clubs, and gyms all closed?? my life is about to…

December 4, 2021
Work/Businesses

“Wrapping presents is folding laundry’s asshole cousin”

"Wrapping presents is folding laundry’s asshole cousin" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people hate wrapping presents, just as they hate folding laundry.…

November 30, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Wrapping presents is the folding laundry of Christmas”

"Wrapping presents is folding laundry’s asshole cousin" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people hate wrapping presents, just as they hate folding laundry.…

October 9, 2017
Sports/Games

“Wrestling is a sport where people without pants fight for a belt”

"Wrestling is a sport where people without pants fight for a belt" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Wrestling is where men without pants fight for a belt.…

November 9, 2014
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.—Anonymous”

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. -- Anonymous" is a popular joke saying. The line has been cited in print since at least 1999, but it is -- unsurprisingly -- of…

December 5, 2012
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Write drunk, edit sober”

"Write drunk, edit sober" ha been printed on many gift items, such as posters, mugs and T-shirts. The one-line saying has usually been attributed to writer Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961),…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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