“BeerGasm [noun] that little rush you feel after the first sip of a good beer”
"Beergasm" is a portmanteau of the words "beer" and "orgasm." "How do you describe the sensations of an ice cold beer drunk under the conditions in which I found…
“BEERGASM The Climactic Moment when you take the first sip at the end of the day”
"Beergasm" is a portmanteau of the words "beer" and "orgasm." "How do you describe the sensations of an ice cold beer drunk under the conditions in which I found…
“Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody”
"Before coffee: I hate everybody. After coffee: I feel good about hating everybody" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The coffee saying (with several slight…
“Before coffee: Hating everybody. After coffee: Feeling good about hating everybody”
"Before coffee: I hate everybody. After coffee: I feel good about hating everybody" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The coffee saying (with several slight…
“Before coffee: I hate everybody. After coffee: I feel good about hating everybody”
"Before coffee: I hate everybody. After coffee: I feel good about hating everybody" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The coffee saying (with several slight…
“Before Conference pears, we could only talk to one pear at a time”
A joke about Conference pears was posted on Twitter by "joe" on March 26, 2013: "Before we had conference pears, you could only talk to one person on a pear at a time."…
“Before drinking eat liver, so that the alcohol doesn’t know which liver to attack”
Alcohol attacks the liver, but which one? "Before drinking alcohol, eat goat liver. That way, when you drink, the alcohol doesn't know which liver to attack. Yours or the goats" was…
“Before I got married, I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge”
When a man gets married, he often discovers that he is wrong about everything. A joke was posted on Twitter by Josh on June 10, 2015: "Before I got married I didn't even know there was a…
“Before I have coffee, everyone is an asshole. After I have coffee, everyone is still an asshole…”
"Before I have coffee, everyone is an asshole. After I have coffee, everyone is still an asshole, but I have coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Before I have…
“Before you lose your shit, remember there’s no wine in prison”
"Before you lose your shit, remember there's no wine in prison" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Before you lose your shit remember there’s no wine in…
“Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee”
"Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee" (or "Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee") is a coffee saying that has been…
“Being a parent is like jumping out of a plane with a bunch of people…”
"Being a parent is like jumping out of a plane with a bunch of people who don't know how to open their own chutes. So, you fly around doing it for them. Then you hit the ground, but you…
“Being a parent means knowing how to unwrap a Snickers without making any noise”
"Being a parent means knowing how to unwrap a candy bar (Snickers) without making any noise" -- that is, having a guilty pleasure without waking the kids -- has been printed on many…
“Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it”
Many people do not like to eat pizza crusts. However, some people reason that they paid for a pizza, so they might as well eat the whole thing. "Not eating crust is some childish shit. If I…
“Being drunk with your best friend is the best kind of drunk”
"Being drunk with your best friend(s) is the best kind of drunk" is a popular saying on Twitter. "Being drunk with your best friends is the best kind of drunk" was first cited…
“Believe in yourself! If cauliflower can become pizza, you can do anything”
"If cauliflower can somehow become pizza...then you, my friend, can do anything" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. "If cauliflower can be pizza, we, my…
“Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is less used as dessert than it is as an anti-depressant”
Ben & Jerry's ice cream -- a very richly flavored, premium ice cream -- is often said to be an anti-depressant, and this has some chemical basis. Ghrelin, called the "hunger…
“Benefits of serving green tea to guests: 1. You look rich 2. You save on milk 3. They won’t ask for more 4. They won’t come again”
A popular green tea joke went viral in 2018 and 2019. "3 Benefits Of Serving #GreenTea To Guests : 1 - It'll Prove You're Modern , 2 , Saving The Money Of Milk , 3 , No Need To Give…
“Best Fortune cookie ever: ‘Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application’”
A fortune cookie joke was posted on Facebook by Deidrè de Saldanha (and many others) on June 19, 2012: "Best Fortune cookie ever: 'Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie…
“Best friends are basically therapists who get paid in margaritas”
“Friends are therapists you can drink with” is a popular saying. "Best friends are just personal therapists who get paid in alcohol" and "Best friends are basically therapists…