“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.”—Me, after eating one healthy meal
"'I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.' -- Me, after eating one healthy meal" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. "Me after eating one healthy meal: i…
“I wonder if Greek kids play a game called ‘The Floor is bakLAVA’”
Baklava (a dessert) has nothing to do with lava, but there are jokes. Some baklava jokes involve the children's game of "the floor is lava." "I wonder if Greek kids play a game…
“I wonder if it’s rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands”
"I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands" is a saying that has been printed on many images. New York-born stand-up comedian Demetri Martin has told…
“I wonder if the inventor of paper straws ever considered that they would be in prolonged contact with liquid”
Many people believe that paper straws do a very poor job of the task they were designed to perform. This was posted on X/Twitter by Jordan Arthur Thomson on June 17, 2022, and received over 866,000…
“I wonder if there is a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too”
"I wonder if there is a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too" is an alcohol saying that has been printed on many images. "I wonder if there is a margarita somewhere…
“I wonder what would happen if you put a small insect in some soft French cheese, briefly?”
The word "briefly" is not composed of the words "brie" (a soft French cheese) and "fly (an insect), but there are jokes. "I wonder what would happen if you put an…
“I wonder who farts in the packets of ham before sealing them up?”
Packets of ham have a certain smell, and some people believe that farts are added before a package is sealed. "It must be the weirdest job in the world putting farts in packets of ham #random…
“I work hard all week to put coffee on the table”
"I work hard all week to put coffee on the table" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I work hard all week to put food on the table" is the original…
“I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee so I can work. It’s the circle of life”
"I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee so I can work. It's the circle of life" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I work so I can buy iced coffee. I buy iced coffee…
“I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee to work. It’s the circle of life”
"I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee so I can work. It's the circle of life" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I work so I can buy iced coffee. I buy iced coffee…
“I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener”
"I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!" is a joke indicating that the speaker can't cook fresh, healthy food. The saying has appeared on a list of "Kitchen…
“I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza”
"I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza" is a jocular anti-salad, pro-pizza saying. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's Humor on December 10, 2012.…
“I would like to check myself into The Very Hungry Caterpillar clinic where you eat your feelings for 6 days…”
The children's classic book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar (1969), shows a way of life that some people can identify with. This was posted on X/Twitter by Shannon on October 12, 2020: "I…
“I would like Valentine’s Day to be abolished and replaced with a second Thanksgiving”
Many people don't like Valentine's Day because it's about love, but they do enjoy meeting people and eating together. It's been suggested to get rid of Valentine's Day and…
“I would lose weight, but I hate losing”
"I would lose weight, but I hate losing" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. The saying has been cited on Twitter since July 25,…
“I would never hurt an animal. I’m more of a people person”
"I would never hurt/kill an animal. I'm more of a people person" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying could be a vegan or cannibal joke about eating animals…
“I would never kill an animal. I’m more of a people person”
"I would never hurt/kill an animal. I'm more of a people person" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying could be a vegan or cannibal joke about eating animals…
“I would never try to poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich”
"I would never try to poison you, Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich" is a science joke that has been printed on many images. "Pb" stands for both "peanut butter" and…
“I would’ve never imagined my hands would consume more alcohol than my liver”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“I wouldn’t say coffee solves all my problems, but it stops me from creating some new ones”
"Coffee doesn't solve all my problems, but I'm fairly confident it stops me from creating some new ones" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has…