“I’ll take a coffee with my sunshine”
"I'll take (a) coffee with my sunshine" is a morning coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'll take a coffee with my sunshine" (shown on an image) was…
“I’ll take coffee with my sunshine”
"I'll take (a) coffee with my sunshine" is a morning coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'll take a coffee with my sunshine" (shown on an image) was…
“I’ll take the lobster home to dinner” (joke)
Lobsters are sold live, and there is a joke about someone getting a live lobster. "Great! I'll take him home to dinner!" the receiving person declares. "Oh no, don't do…
“I’m a baker for the army. When I go to war, I go in all buns glazing”
"Buns glazing" is a spoonerism for "guns blazing." "Just hit town with his buns glazing" was posted to the newsgroup rec.audio.pro on December 23, 2001. A popular joke…
“I’m a better person when I’m tan and holding a margarita”
"I'm a better person when I'm tan and holding a margarita" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm a better person when I'm tan and holding a…
“I’m a chemical engineer. I convert beer and wine into urine”
The "convert beer into urine joke" has been popular since at least the 1990s. About 2008, a joke called the "Wisdom of a Retiree" circulated from an uncredited source:…
“I’m a collector of empty bottles. That sounds better than alcoholic”
Does "collector of empty bottles" sound better than "alcoholic"? "My friends is a collector. Of empty bottles. Sounds SO much better than 'an alcoholic',…
“I’m a complex woman with many moods—and they all require chocolate”
"I'm a woman of many moods and they all require chocolate" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I am a woman of many moods, and they all require chocolate.…
“I’m a complex woman with many moods—and they all require coffee”
"I'm a complex woman with many moods -- and they all require coffee" is a saying that has been shown on an image. "I am a woman of many moods and they all require coffee"…
“I’m a crepe. I’m a weirdough. What the hell am I doughing here? I donut belong here”
"Weirdo" is sometimes jocularly written as "weirdough" (weird/weirdo + dough). "Crêpe" can sound like "creep," and "donut" like "do…
“I’m a light eater; when it gets light, I start eating”
"I'm a light eater; when it gets light, I start eating" is a joke that has been attributed to baseball pitcher Tommy John, baseball coach Tommy Lasorda and football defensive tackle…
“I’m a magician who steals candy bars. You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve”
The Twix chocolate bar has had a few puns, such as a magician having Twix (tricks) up his sleeve. "One laugh on all of NBC's Thursday night shows: Twix up my sleeve. Ruined by being in…
“I’m a second-hand vegetarian. Cows eat grass. I eat cows”
"I'm a second-hand vegetarian. Cows eat grass. I eat cows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only eat animals that feed on grass. Does that make me a…
“I’m a social drinker. Every time someone says ‘I’ll have a drink,’ I say ‘Social I’”
"I'm a social drinker. Every time someone says 'I'll have a drink,' I say 'Social I'" -- a pun on "So shall I" -- is a jocular drinking saying that…
“I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet”
"I'm a social vegan. I avoid meet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m a social vegan; I avoid meet" -- a pun on "meat" -- was posted on…
“I’m a socialist drinker” (joke)
A "social" drinker shouldn't be confused with a "socialist" drinker, but there are jokes. "I'm not a heavy drinker, more of a socialist drinker. Which is to say,…
“I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals, but because I hate plants”
"I'm a vegetarian, not because I love animals...but because I hate plants!" said comedian A. Whitney Brown in the May 1983 Vegetarian Times. The joke is that if don't like…
“I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I become”
"I'm a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I become" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on the blog Wine…
“I’m a woman of many moods and they all require chocolate”
"I'm a woman of many moods and they all require chocolate" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I am a woman of many moods, and they all require chocolate.…
“I’m a woman. I have needs. Pass me the wine”
"I'm a woman. I have needs. Pass me the wine"is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 19, 2016. "I'm a woman, I have…