“I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee to work. It’s the circle of life”
"I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee so I can work. It's the circle of life" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I work so I can buy iced coffee. I buy iced coffee…
“I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener”
"I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!" is a joke indicating that the speaker can't cook fresh, healthy food. The saying has appeared on a list of "Kitchen…
“I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza”
"I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza" is a jocular anti-salad, pro-pizza saying. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's Humor on December 10, 2012.…
“I would lose weight, but I hate losing”
"I would lose weight, but I hate losing" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. The saying has been cited on Twitter since July 25,…
“I would never hurt an animal. I’m more of a people person”
"I would never hurt/kill an animal. I'm more of a people person" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying could be a vegan or cannibal joke about eating animals…
“I would never kill an animal. I’m more of a people person”
"I would never hurt/kill an animal. I'm more of a people person" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying could be a vegan or cannibal joke about eating animals…
“I would never try to poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich”
"I would never try to poison you, Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich" is a science joke that has been printed on many images. "Pb" stands for both "peanut butter" and…
“I would’ve never imagined my hands would consume more alcohol than my liver”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“I wouldn’t say coffee solves all my problems, but it stops me from creating some new ones”
"Coffee doesn't solve all my problems, but I'm fairly confident it stops me from creating some new ones" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has…
“I wouldn’t say I’m a coffee addict. I prefer the term ‘exceptionally caffeine absorbent’”
"I wouldn't say I'm a coffee addict. I prefer the term 'exceptionally caffeine absorbent'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying (shown…
“I’d like to thank all who are taking part in Sober October. It’s much easier to get to the bar now”
"Sober October" means not drinking alcohol during the month of October. "A huge thank you to everyone who's taking part in sober October. It's so much easier to get to the…
“I’d make a veggie joke, but no one would carrot all”
"Carrot" sounds a bit like "care at." "I'd make a veggie joke, but no one would carrot all" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’d rather be beered and cheered than wined and dined”
"Beer and cheer" is a term like "wine and dine." "They were wined, dined, beered and cheered each day of their drill" was printed in the Morning World-Herald (Omaha,…
“I’d rather be fishing”
"I'd rather be fishing" is a saying that has been on many items, such as bumper stickers, license plate holders, T-shirts and hats. The "I'd Rather Be Fishing" bumper…
“I’d rather be someone’s shot of tequila than everyone’s cup of tea”
Entry in progress -- B.P.
“I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea”
"I'd rather be someone's shot of espresso/tequila/vodka/whiskey than everyone's cup of tea" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Someone's…
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy”
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" is one of the most famous of modern drinking quips. But who said it first? The musician Tom Waits said the line on…
“I’ll be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels”
"I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations. "I'll be…
“I’ll be Irish in a few beers”
"I'll be Irish in a few beers" (a pun on "in a few years") is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Let everybody know you're ready…
“I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly”
"I'll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Benji…