“I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them”
"I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them" is a one-line saying about broken cookies that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 19,…
“I eat the same Indian bread as everyone else. I’m a naan conformist”
"Naan" sounds like "non" and has been used in several "naan conformist" puns. "One of said friends was pigging out on the Indian bread, so I immediately accused…
“I either drink coffee or I say bad words to strangers”
"I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding, I do both" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I either drink COFFEE or say bad words to strangers" was…
“I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding, I do both”
"I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding, I do both" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I either drink COFFEE or say bad words to strangers" was…
“I either drink coffee or say bad words to everyone”
"I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding, I do both" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I either drink COFFEE or say bad words to strangers" was…
“I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my sarcasm”
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“I enjoy coffee on special occasions. Like ‘being alive’ and ‘existing’”
"I enjoy coffee on special occasions. Like 'being alive' and 'existing'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker clearly enjoys coffee,…
“I enjoy long, romantic walks…to the fridge”
"I enjoy long, romantic walks...to the fridge" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and coffee mugs. "I like long walks to the…
“I entered a competition and won a year’s supply of Marmite—one jar”
Marmite is something that many people don’t use a lot of. "But I'm in a great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one…
“I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like fine wine. I’m aging like milk…”
"Some people age like fine wine. Me? I aged like milk. I got sour and chunky" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Women age like a fine wine, men age like…
“I fart because it’s the only gas I can afford”
"Help! Dad farted and we can't get out!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. When someone farts in a car, others are trapped and have to open windows.…
“I fear I’m the girl sipping the fruity little drink cause she can’t shoot whiskey”
"I fear I'm the girl sipping the fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is based on the song…
“I feel bad that nobody’s checking up on Coca Cola’s well-being. Everyone asks if Pepsi is okay”
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
“I feel like a taco salad is the worst way to eat a taco, and yet, the best way to eat a salad”
Some people who order a taco salad are more "taco people" than "salad people." This was posted on X/Twitter by Not Mark on July 16, 2015: "I feel like a taco salad is the…
“I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together”
"I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together" is a one-line saying about breakfast that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May…
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink; they wake up, and that’s as good as they’ll feel all day”
"I always feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day" was said by the actor Jack Lemmon…
“I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop”
"I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor" is a jocular saying that has been prints on GIFs. The saying was posted by "A…
“I fetched a pail of water and ate a KFC family meal. Two things I can cross off my bucket list”
A "bucket list" is a list of things to do before one dies "("kicks the bucket"). The list usually doesn't involve a bucket (such as a bucket of KFC chicken), but there…
“I finally found a diet plan that really works. It’s called ‘The Price of Food’”
"I finally found a diet plan that really works. It's called 'The Price of Food'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker doesn't eat…
“I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil”
"I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Now he'll only drink for EVIL. MT @KatMcKinley Randy Travis…