“I am the tequila, not the lime”
"Don’t be a chaser, be the one who gets chased. You are the tequila, not the lime" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You are the tequila, not the lime,"…
“I am trying to be healthy and grow my own food, but I can’t find any doughnut seeds”
Donuts (or "doughnuts") aren't healthy and do not grow from seeds, but there are jokes. "Was thinking today i might try to grow some of my own food... Where do you buy donut and…
“I asked my caddie for a sand wedge…” (golf joke)
Golfers sometimes joke about inexperienced caddies who confuse a "sand wedge" with a "sandwich." Puerto Rican professional golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez often joked: "I asked my…
“I asked my chef friend if they ever serve steak raw. He said yeah, but it’s rare”
People sometimes ask for "raw" steak when they mean "rare." "Sometimes I like my steak raw, but that's rare" was posted on Twitter on December 12, 2012. "Few…
“I asked the waiter, ‘Is my tomato soup ready?’ He replied, ‘Of course it is. What color did you expect it to be?’”
"Ready" shouldn't be confused with "reddy," but there are jokes. This was posted on Facebook by William Wilson on October 14, 2024" "Ordered tomato soup as a…
“I asked the waitress for a ‘quickie’ and she slapped me” (quiche joke)
A popular food joke has a man tell a waitress that he wants a "quickie." She slaps him. Another diner tells the man, "I think that's pronounced 'quiche.'" The…
“I assume people who don’t drink coffee just die around 2 p.m.”
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
“I assume that people who don’t drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.”
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
“I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever”
"I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on posters and ecards. The "vowel movement" (vowel…
“I ate too much cookie dough and got sick. It was an overdoughse”
"Overdoughse" (overdose + dough) is a jocular word to describe what might occur from eating too much cookie/pizza dough. "Approaching cookie overdoughse" was posted on Twitter…
“I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel”
"Falafel" sounds like "feel awful," prompting the pun: "I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel." "Clever pun. Now I falafel" was cited in a…
“I bake because punching people is frowned upon”
"I bake because punching people is frowned upon" is a baking saying that has been printed on many images. "I Bake Because Punching Is Frowned Upon" was posted on Twitter by Sian…
“I be drinking water in front of my plants so they remember who the breadwinner is”
"drinking water in front of my plants so they remember who the breadwinner is" was posted on Twitter by farah mynaf ☾ on March 11, 2022. The tweet went viral and received over 218,000…
“I beat anorexia”
"I beat anorexia" -- that is, the speaker is not thin -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I beat anorexia" -- a literal use -- was a segment on…
“I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish”
"I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter…
“I bet when cannibals go on a diet they order the chef salad”
"Chef salad" is salad prepared by a chef (or according to a chef's directions). "Chef salad" doesn't contain any chefs as an ingredient, but there are several cannibal…
“I bought a 12 year old scotch. His parents weren’t pleased”
There's a difference between "buying a 12 year old (bottle of) scotch" and "buying a 12 year old (person) scotch." A joke was posted on Twitter on January 25, 2013:…
“I bought a knife that can cut through four loaves of bread at once. It’s a four loaf cleaver”
"Four loaf cleaver" is a spoonerism for "four leaf clover." The jocular "four loaf cleaver" has been cited in print since at least 1948 and 1957. Newspapers.com25 June…
“I bought a pancake, but I was rather disappointed. It tasted nothing like a pan”
Pancakes aren't made of pans, but there are jokes. "I bought a pancake but had to take it back to the shops.... Didn't taste anything like a pan" was posted on Twitter by 3AM on…
“I bought an alcoholic ginger beer. He wasn’t happy about it”
"Buying an alcoholic ginger beer" can be interpreted as buying "alcoholic ginger beer," or as buying an alcoholic a "ginger beer" (usually non-alcoholic), or as buying…