“I can spell ‘banana,’ but I never know when to stop”
The word "banana" is sometimes difficult to spell, with an extra "n" and "a" often added. An old joke told of a small child who said that he could spell…
“I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol”
"I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts. To "walk on water" is to accomplish an impossible task; the miracle of…
“I can’t believe pretzels are knot bread”
Pretzels are baked bread often -- but not always -- shaped into a twisted knot. "Why do people eat pretzels since they are knot food? (Pun of the Day)" -- from the website Pun of the Day…
“I can’t espresso how much you bean to me”
"I can't espresso how much you bean to me" is a pun-filled coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I can not espresso how much you bean to me" was posted on…
“I can’t tell if I like this blender. It keeps giving me mixed results”
A blender joke is: "I can't tell if I like this blender. It keeps giving me mixed results." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on December 23, 2016. TwitterCJ…
“I can’t tell if this rice cake is stale or not. Because it’s a rice cake”
Many people think that a rice cake tastes like styrofoam. "Eating a stale rice cake... or is it? How can you tell?" was posted on Twitter by Travis Spencer on March 19, 2008. "How,…
“I can’t turn water into wine, but I can turn pizza into breakfast”
"I can't turn water into wine, but I can turn pizza into breakfast" is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on several images. "I may not be able to turn water into…
“I can’t wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them”
Children are sometimes the reason why a parent drinks wine. "I can't wait for the day I can drink wine with my children instead of because of them..." was posted on Twitter on…
“I can’t wait to get home and pour myself some dinner”
"I can't wait to get home and pour myself some dinner" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "I cant wait to get home and pour myself some dinner" was…
“I can’t wait to go home and pour myself some dinner”
"I can't wait to get home and pour myself some dinner" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "I cant wait to get home and pour myself some dinner" was…
“I can’t walk the walk or talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink…”
"I can't walk the walk or talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm all yours!" is a jocular drinking sayin that has been printed on many images. "I…
“I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I don’t know where I am”
"I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I don’t know where I am" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images and ecards. "I can not…
“I can’t coffee this early without function”
"I can’t coffee this early without function" -- a joke on "I can't function this early without coffee" -- is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I…
“I can’t drink responsibly because responsibilities are why I drink”
"Drink responsibly" is a popular saying. "They say 'Drink Responsibly' but my Responsibilities are why I drink" was posted on Twitter by Jerry Albitre on September 14,…
“I can’t resist coffee. But then again, why would I?”
"I can't resist coffee. But then again, why would I?" is a coffee saying that was posted by Fire Dept. Coffee on both X/Twitter and on Facebook on August 14, 2023. X/Twitter Fire…
“I celebrate Cinco de Mayo so I get can drunk enough to forget yesterday’s ‘May the 4th’ jokes”
"I only celebrate Cinco de Mayo so I get can drunk enough to forget yesterday's non-stop 'May the Fourth' jokes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an ecard.…
“I choked on a carrot, and all I could think was ‘I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this’”
“I choked on a carrot this afternoon, and all I could think was 'I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me'" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I choked on a carrot. All I could think was ‘I bet a cupcake wouldn’t have done this’”
“I choked on a carrot this afternoon, and all I could think was 'I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me'" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage”
"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage" was said by American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) about the cooking of her mother, Erma Haines Harris. "I come from a…
“I consider myself a moral person. That’s why I only eat turkeys that have exhausted appeals”
The president of the United States traditionally pardons one turkey just before Thanksgiving. American television host and comedian Conan O'Brien posted this joke on Twitter on November 26,…