“Hydro Flasks with straw lids are just adult sippy cups”
A Hydro Flask (often written as "hydroflask") has been compared to a sippy cup. "I don't like to complain much but my hydroflask is a literal sippy cup & it's not…
“Hydroflasks are just sippy cups for adults”
A Hydro Flask (often written as "hydroflask") has been compared to a sippy cup. "I don't like to complain much but my hydroflask is a literal sippy cup & it's not…
“i 8 sum Pi…and it was delicious” (math joke)
"√(-1) 2³ ∑π" ("i 8 sum Pi" or "I ate some pie") -- often followed with "and it was delicious" -- is a math joke that has been printed on T-shirts.…
“I accidentally left a blood orange next to a crip orange and now there’s fucking juice everywhere”
"Bloods” and “Crips” are the names of rival gangs in California. There is a "blood orange," and some have suggested there must be a "crip orange." "Got some…
“I accidentally swallowed some food coloring and dyed a little inside”
A popular pun is told about food coloring: "Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside." The joke…
“I actually have a lot of jokes about potatoes, I just don’t know where to starch”
Potatoes contain starch. "I would tell a joke about potatoes, but i don't know where to starch!" -- a pun on "where to start" -- was posted on Twitter by PUNS on October…
“I added some Friday to your coffee. You’re welcome”
"I added some Friday to your coffee. You're welcome" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Coffee in the morning often motivates one to get through the day's work,…
“I almost had an ‘I need a guy’ moment, but then I was able to get the vodka open”
"I almost had an 'I need a guy' moment, but then I was able to get the vodka/wine open" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated…
“I almost had an ‘I need a guy’ moment, but then I was able to get the wine open”
"I almost had an 'I need a guy' moment, but then I was able to get the vodka/wine open" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated…
“I always get pickle and chutney mixed up. It makes me chuckle”
If you combine pickle and chutney, do you get the portmanteau word "chuckle"? "Morrison's dilemma of the Day: What's the difference between chutney and pickle? And if you…
“I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, and I’m like okay…”
"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…
“I always start my diet on the same day—tomorrow”
"I always start my diet on the same day -- tomorrow" is a jocular one-liner about people who never do start a diet. "I always start my diet on the same day: tomorrow" was cited…
“I always thought growing lettuce would be hard. Turns out it’s not rocket science”
"Its not record science" -- that is, it's not complicated -- is an expression that has been popular since at least the 1980s. “It’s not rocket salad” is a joke based on the…
“I always wake up at the crack of ice”
New York-born comedian and singer Joe E, Lewis (1902-1971) was known for drinking and staying up late in night clubs. He was not known for getting up at the crack of dawn. Lewis was quoted in a…
“I am a bean; I am very lean” (food riddle)
A popular food riddle about a bean is: I am a bean; I am very lean. I am not fat; I am sure of that. Like all beans, I am small and round; but unlike others, I dont grow in the ground. What kind of…
“I am a survivalist. I drank my morning coffee out of a soup bowl because there were no clean cups”
Some people are forced to drink coffee under less than ideal circumstances. This was posted on Twitter by Mike Primavera on December 6, 2014: "I am a survivalist. I can adapt to any situation.…
“I am not drunk! Who would name their kid Drunk?”
"No! For the last time stop asking if I am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid Drunk?" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The line was posted on…
“I am scared of non-alcoholic lager. It must be a faux beer”
"Faux beer" sounds like "phobia." "I think i have a faux beer phobia" was posted on Twitter on May 7, 2009. "My dad is scared of fake alcohol. He has a faux…
“I am so glad that I don’t have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live”
"I am so glad that I don't have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm so glad I don't…
“I am soo glad I don’t have to actually hunt. I have no fucking clue where gluten free tacos live”
"I am so glad that I don't have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm so glad I don't…