“It used to be called ‘House Depot’ until they filled it with love”
"Love is what makes a house a home" is an old proverb. The Home Depot (an American home improvement supplies retailing company) was never called "House Depot," but there are…
“It was so cold in New York that they canceled the Central Park ice festival”
"It was so cold in New York that they canceled the Central Park ice festival" is not just a joke -- it really did happen in February 2016. On February 12, 2016, the Central Park…
“It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over”
"It's amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over" (or "It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the…
“It’s amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over”
"It's amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over" (or "It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the…
“It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself why you don’t”
"It's important to get out of the house every once and/in a while to remind yourself why you don't go out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s…
“It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to remind yourself why you don’t”
"It's important to get out of the house every once and/in a while to remind yourself why you don't go out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s…
“It’s July 8th and people are still shooting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas tree”
"This is ridiculous! "It's July 6th/7th/8th/9th/10th and people are still shooting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas decoration on fire!" is a jocular saying that…
“It’s kind of funny how there’s never lines at water park restrooms”
Many have wondered about what kids do in the water at water parks. "How come there are really long lines at the water park, but no lines at the bathrooms...?" was posted on Twitter on…
“It’s not how big the house is. It’s how happy the home is”
"It's not how big the house is. It's how happy the home is" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "It's not how bigs the house... It's how happy the…
“It’s gardening season. Five weeks ago I planted myself on the sofa and I’ve grown considerably”
A gardening joke was posted on Facebook by Don Miller (and others) on May 1, 2020: "It’s gardening season. Five weeks ago I planted myself on the sofa and I’ve since grown…
“Janitors who work in skyscrapers are high maintenance”
The term "high maintenance" usually has nothing to do with janitors, but there are jokes. "Janitors who work in skyscrapers are high maintenance" was posted on Twitter by rodney…
“Junk is something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you actually need it”
"Junk is something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you actually need it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Junk: Something you keep ten…
“Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time and was completely shocked”
"Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time and was completely shocked" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2013. The joke was…
“Just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile”
Burglars can use social media to find if a family is not at home. The family might reveal on social media that they're on vacation, for example. However, the house might have security systems…
“Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. He was working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to work from home. What did burglars do? "I'm working from home,as a burglar I've robbed my own house 150 times in the last…
“Just text us when you’re here. There’s no need to knock and get the dogs involved”
"Just text us when you're here. There's no need to knock and get the dogs involved" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many house signs and doormats. A doorbell ring…
“Just walked past a sign that read, ‘This fire door is alarmed’” (joke)
"The fire door is alarmed" is a typical building sign, but it's sometimes joked that the door is "alarmed" because it has a human personality. "So I passed a door with…
“Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect because of the indoor fins”
"Endorphins" shouldn't be confused with "indoor fins," but there are jokes. "The reason tropical fish have such a calming effect is all to do with the indoor…
“Kicking sand on the beach is wrong, in some people’s eyes”
"Throwing acid is wrong -- in some people's eyes" is a jocular saying ("in some people's eyes" is an expression usually not meant to be taken literally) that has been…
“Kinda starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the front door opens”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Many people anxiously waited until they could leave their homes. This was posted on Facebook by Amanda Arnold on March 20, 2020:…