“Now I know why dogs get so excited to go for walks”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Many people anxiously waited until they could leave their homes. "After 3 days, I now understand why the dog gets so excited about…
“Once your neighbor cuts their grass, you have 48 hours to respond”
When one house has the lawn mowed, the neighboring houses are under pressure to also cut their lawns. "Once your neighbor cuts their grass, you really have like 72 hours to respond" was…
“Once your neighbor cuts their grass, you have 72 hours to respond”
When one house has the lawn mowed, the neighboring houses are under pressure to also cut their lawns. "Once your neighbor cuts their grass, you really have like 72 hours to respond" was…
“One day I wanna be ‘Fridge in the garage’ successful”
Everyone has a refrigerator in the kitchen, but not many people have a refrigerator in the garage. A refrigerator in the garage can store a special item, such as beer or steaks. "I don't…
“One minute you’re young and fun and the next minute you’re excited about a new vacuum”
Adulthood brings simple, homely pleasures. "One minute you're young and cool/fun, and the next minute you're excited about air fryers/crockpots/vacuums" is a saying that has…
“Only a matter of time before my electric bill asks me to select a tip amount”
Many expensive services expect tips. This was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on August 30, 2022: "Only a matter of time before my electric bill asks me to select a tip amount."…
“Our cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak led to many people working from home -- but did that include cleaning ladies? "Our cleaning lady just emailed to say she’ll be working from home for the…
“Our house is lived in, it’s not for show. If you don’t like the mess, you know where to go”
"Our house is lived in, it's not for show. If you don't like the mess, you know where to go" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the visitor can leave the…
“Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve”
"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Paid the rent. Now I got a place to starve to death”
"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Pardon the weeds. I’m feeding the bees”
"Pardon the weeds. I'm feeding the bees" (or "Pardon the weeds. We are feeding the bees") is a jocular lawn sign that has been printed in many images. Putting away the…
“Pardon the weeds. We are feeding the bees”
"Pardon the weeds. I'm feeding the bees" (or "Pardon the weeds. We are feeding the bees") is a jocular lawn sign that has been printed in many images. Putting away the…
“Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless”
"Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 5, 2014. That is, paying rent, like hitting a snooze button, is…
“Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbor mow their lawn”
Is peer pressure involved in mowing lawns? "When my neighbor mows his lawn, it makes me feel like I need to mow mine. This must be that peer pressure crap Nancy Reagan warned me about"…
“People are dying to get in” (cemetery joke)
An old cemetery joke goes: Q. Why do they build a fence around a graveyard?A. Because people are just dying to get in. "As the saying goes, people must be just dying to get in (the cemetery --…
“People say elevator music is boring. It’s actually very next-level”
"Elevator music" (background music) is usually popular, conservative music, but a joke has it that the music is "next level." "I like listening to elevator music as i take…
“Please don’t throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer”
"Please don't throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer" is a jocular instruction that has been printed on many signs. “Please don’t throw…
“Pool party at my house, bring the pool then leave”
"Pool party at my house. Bring your own pool" (or "Pool party at my house, bring the pool then leave") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“Pool party at my house. Bring your own pool”
"Pool party at my house. Bring your own pool" (or "Pool party at my house, bring the pool then leave") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“Porn gives people an unrealistic expectation of how quickly a plumber will get to your house”
Pornography is often accused of giving young people unrealistic expectations about sex. A joke gives a twist to this. "Porn is so unrealistic, there's no way you'd ever get a plumber…