“Pardon the weeds. I’m feeding the bees”
"Pardon the weeds. I'm feeding the bees" (or "Pardon the weeds. We are feeding the bees") is a jocular lawn sign that has been printed in many images. Putting away the…
“Pardon the weeds. We are feeding the bees”
"Pardon the weeds. I'm feeding the bees" (or "Pardon the weeds. We are feeding the bees") is a jocular lawn sign that has been printed in many images. Putting away the…
“Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless”
"Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 5, 2014. That is, paying rent, like hitting a snooze button, is…
“Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbor mow their lawn”
Is peer pressure involved in mowing lawns? "When my neighbor mows his lawn, it makes me feel like I need to mow mine. This must be that peer pressure crap Nancy Reagan warned me about"…
“People are dying to get in” (cemetery joke)
An old cemetery joke goes: Q. Why do they build a fence around a graveyard?A. Because people are just dying to get in. "As the saying goes, people must be just dying to get in (the cemetery --…
“People say elevator music is boring. It’s actually very next-level”
"Elevator music" (background music) is usually popular, conservative music, but a joke has it that the music is "next level." "I like listening to elevator music as i take…
“Please don’t throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer”
"Please don't throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer" is a jocular instruction that has been printed on many signs. “Please don’t throw…
“Pool party at my house, bring the pool then leave”
"Pool party at my house. Bring your own pool" (or "Pool party at my house, bring the pool then leave") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“Pool party at my house. Bring your own pool”
"Pool party at my house. Bring your own pool" (or "Pool party at my house, bring the pool then leave") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“Porn gives people an unrealistic expectation of how quickly a plumber will get to your house”
Pornography is often accused of giving young people unrealistic expectations about sex. A joke gives a twist to this. "Porn is so unrealistic, there's no way you'd ever get a plumber…
“Posted a photo of my clean house and it was flagged and removed as ‘fake news’”
"Posted a photo of my clean house and it was flagged and removed as 'fake news'" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. That is, it's fake that the house…
“Price it low, watch it go; price it high, watch it die” (real estate adage)
"Quote it low, watch it go" and "Quote it high, watch it die" are popular real estate adages in Australia and New Zealand, where real estate is sold at auction. If a price is…
“Protected by FAFO fuck around and find out security system”
"Protected by fuck around and find out surveillance" is a saying that has been printed on many signs. "Protected by Fuck around and find out surveillance" (shown on a sign) was…
“Protected by fuck around and find out home security”
"Protected by fuck around and find out surveillance" is a saying that has been printed on many signs. "Protected by Fuck around and find out surveillance" (shown on a sign) was…
“Protected by fuck around and find out surveillance”
"Protected by fuck around and find out surveillance" is a saying that has been printed on many signs. "Protected by Fuck around and find out surveillance" (shown on a sign) was…
“Prune roses before Presidents Day and azaleas before the Fourth of July”
"The old saying is that you cut your roses back before President's Day and your azaleas before the Fourth of July" was cited in 2015. It's not certain when the two gardening…
“Pun enters a room, kills 10 people. Pun in, 10 dead”
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pun version is: "A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot. Pun in, ten…
“Raggy rope, don’t be a dope” (poison ivy adage)
Poison ivy vines appear "hairy" and "raggy." The rhyme "Hairy rope, don't be a dope" was cited in print in 1996 and "Raggy rope, don't be a dope!"…
“Ramps are just boneless stairs”
Ramps have been compared to stairs. "Are ramps just boneless stairs??" was posted on Twitter by Trevor on July 12, 2017. "Ramps are just boneless stairs" was posted on Twitter…
“Reading won’t solve your problems. But then again, neither will housework”
"Reading won't solve your problems. But then again, neither will housework" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The implication is that reading is more fun than…