"My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. American stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) used…
"My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to Hell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I love fall! My favorite part is not when it gets cold,…
An elevator joke that has been printed on many images is: "My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down." "The first time I used an…
A couch joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on June 11, 2019: "I just lost 20% of my couch. Ouch." "Couch" is a five-letter word, and the letter "C" is 20% of the…
A joke about surveillance was posted on Twitter by Joe Mama on April 23, 2014, and has been printed on many images: "My girlfriend asked me last night why I carry my gun around the house, what…
"Apples and pears" is cockney rhyming slang for "stairs." A joke was posted on Twitter by BarryNeaves on May 12, 2013: "My girlfriend said I was a rubbish cockney, so I…
"My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it's never been cleaned" is a saying for someone who has a house with kids. There are several slight variations. "My…
"My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it's never been cleaned" is a saying for someone who has a house with kids. There are several slight variations. "My…
"My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it's never been cleaned" is a saying for someone who has a house with kids. There are several slight variations. "My…
"My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both "My house was clean last week, Sorry you missed it" and…
"My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both "My house was clean last week, Sorry you missed it" and…
"My house was clean. Then the dogs woke up. The end" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "My house was clean. Then the dogs woke up..." was posted on X/Twitter…
"My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "my house was clean... for about an hour. Then the kids woke up :)" was…
"My housekeeping style can best be described as: "There appears to have been a struggle'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My housekeeping style…
"My houseplants probably wouldn't die so fast if they could scream for food and water like my kids do" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The saying probably…
"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has sometimes been credited to American humorist Erma…
A "flat" doesn't always mean a flat house, but there are jokes. "Our inflatable house got punctured last night so now we're living in a flat" was posted on Twitter by…
A joke about appliances and electricity is: "My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock." The pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 29,,…
"My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it's going" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 25, 2020. The joke is that the light "went out" (dark), but the…
"My door is always open. Hence my massive heating bill" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on April 14, 2010. A similar joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 20, 2014: "My…