"My houseplants probably wouldn't die so fast if they could scream for food and water like my kids do" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The saying probably…
"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has sometimes been credited to American humorist Erma…
A "flat" doesn't always mean a flat house, but there are jokes. "Our inflatable house got punctured last night so now we're living in a flat" was posted on Twitter by…
A joke about appliances and electricity is: "My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock." The pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 29,,…
"My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it's going" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 25, 2020. The joke is that the light "went out" (dark), but the…
"My door is always open. Hence my massive heating bill" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on April 14, 2010. A similar joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 20, 2014: "My…
"Got a long well" is not the same was "got along well," but there are jokes. "My neighbor and I are good friends. So we thought we share our water supply. We got a long…
"Asphalt" sounds like "ass fault." A pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 5, 2017: "My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb…
"My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "My neighbors listen to great music. Whether they…
Some people light fireworks both before and after July 4th (Independence Day). "My neighbors with the fireworks celebrate the twelve days of July 4th" was posted on X/Twitter by Simon…
People often don't stick to new year's resolutions, but what if they buy something velcro? "My New Years Resolution is to buy a velcro wall...and stick to it" was posted on…
A joke is told about a schizophrenic roommate. "My roommate at Res says I'm schizophrenic, which is weird because I don't have a roommate..." was posted on Twitter by UCT…
A joke about taking the stairs versus taking the elevator was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on October 29, 2018: "My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator.…
What's the female version of a man cave? The answer of "kitchen" might get one in trouble. "The same neanderthals that came up with the term 'man cave' probably think…
A joke about home surveillance was posted on Twitter by Ron Futrell on March 7, 2017, and received over 23,700 likes: "My wife asked why I carried a gun around the house. I told her:fear of…
Many people put closed-circuit television around their homes. "My wifes threatened to leave me because I've installed cctv all over the house......I can see where she's coming from…
Climbing stairs can be a challenge as people get older. "'Old' is when your wife says 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you reply, 'Honey, I can't do…
Some people find spiders in their homes, but don't like to kill the spiders -- preferring to grab a spider and let it go free outside the house. A joke has been printed on many images:…
A joke about a wife getting a husband to do chores was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 1, 2020, and again on Reddit -- Jokes on January 19, 2021: My wife: You need to do more chores around…
"Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on may images. That is, people…