“I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P room”
A "VIP Room" is for Very Important Persons. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes,/a> on October 15, 2020: "I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P…
“I went to a zoo and it had only one animal—a dog. It was a Shih Tzu”
"I went to a zoo the other day and it had only one animal -- a dog. It was a Shih Tzu (shit zoo)" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited in print…
“I will never have a welcome mat at my house ‘cause I ain’t a liar”
Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…
“I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined him”
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
“I would’ve kept off the grass, but I don’t understand sign language”
There are many "Keep off the Grass" signs. A joke was posted on the website Tearable Puns on September 19, 2014: "I would've kept off the grass, but I don't understand sign…
“I’m a big fan of air circulation”
"I'm a big fan of air circulation devices" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Mike Sullivan on July 9, 2012. "I'm a big fan of air circulation" was posted on…
“I’m a good housekeeper; every time I get a divorce, I keep the house”
Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016) married nine times. She often told a joke about her marriages and her special housekeeping ability: "I'm a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I'm divorced, I…
“I’m at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail”
"I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail" (or "I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’m going to hire the same landscaper I used last year. He was easy to get a lawn with”
"Easy to get a lawn with" sounds like "easy to get along with." "Easy to get a lawn with" was used by a seed company in an advertisement in the New York (NY) Times on…
“I’m not homophobic. I’m not afraid of my house!”
A person who is "homophobic" has a fear of homosexuals, but there's a joke: "I'm not homophobic. I'm not afraid of my house!" English comedian and actor Peter Kay…
“I’ve been bored recently so I’ve decided to take up fencing. The neighbors want it back”
There's a difference between "fencing" (a sport) and "fencing" (that goes around a house), but there are jokes. "I've been bored recently so I've decided to…
“I’ve grown to hate low ceilings”
"I've grown to hate low ceilings" is a jocular one-line saying that takes the expression "grown to hate" with literal physical growth. "I've grown to hate low…
“I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen I’m not covered”
A "blanket" insurance policy provides complete coverage -- or doesn't it? "I've just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen in the middle…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one in this elevator seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve never taken an elevator to the basement floor. That’s just beneath me”
"I've never taken an elevator to the basement floor. That's just beneath me" is a pun that was posted on the website Pun of the Day on November 22, 2012. A BuzzFeed article in…
“I’ve never understood the point in fire blankets” (joke)
Fire blankets, like fire extinguishers, are used in many buildings. The blankets are used to retard fire -- not to keep people warm. A joke from someone who doesn't understand about fire…
“I’ve reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail”
"I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail" (or "I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’m trying to teach my self cleaning oven how to do the rest of the house”
Many people wonder why a self-cleaning over can't clean the rest of the kitchen, or the rest of the house. "Why hasn't anyone taken the idea of 'self-cleaning oven' and…
“I’m so strong I can lift buildings! Well, only if it’s a lighthouse”
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
“I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex”
"Complex" can mean (1) complicated, (2) a psychological fixation, and (3) a group of buildings. One can have a "complex complex complex." The "complex" pun has been…