The saying "I'll see myself out" means that someone will leave the premises without further assistance. It doesn't mean literal seeing, but there is a hall of mirrors joke.…
Many people put political signs in their yards, and this sometimes gets confused with realty signs. "Remember to double check lawn signs this Primary Election Season, I almost voted for a…
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/porichoygupto August 28, 2019I got fired from my lawn maintenance job.I just wasn’t cutting it. Reddit -- JokesPosted by u/thedaddy71 August…
"Criticizing" shouldn't be confused with "critter sizing," but there are jokes. “I am just critter sizing!” was printed in the Lyons (KS) Daily News on November 13,…
"Don't you just hate those interfering people who bang on your door and tell you how you need to be 'saved' or you'll 'burn'? Bloody firemen" was posted on…
House foreclosure yard signs shouldn't be confused with political yard signs. A joke was posted by Katie Parker on Twitter on June 20, 2016: "I hate it when candidates put signs on…
"I hate when someone rings my doorbell because then I have to drop whatever I'm doing to be silent and pretend I'm not home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
A lawn joke is: "I have a chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable. English writer and comedian Tim Vine told the joke in 2012. . Wikipedia: Tim Vine Timothy Mark "Tim" Vine (born 4…
Habitat for Humanity builds houses for underserved communities. "Humanity" can sound like "Hugh Manatee," and there are jokes. "Habitat for Hugh, Manatee…
Are step-ladders like step-fathers? "I have a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder" is a popular joke of uncertain origin. "It's not my REAL ladder. It's my…
"I have an open door policy. You bring beer, I'll open the door" is a saying, with many variations, that has been printed on many images "Open Door Policy. Show up with Wine,…
People who have furniture that goes back to the era of Louis XIV (1638-1715) like to brag about it, and there's a popular joke. "I have furniture that goes back to Louis the 14th... that…
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not always politically correct. One joke/saying is: "I haven't seen…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled the vacation plans of many people. They stayed at home instead. "After work I’m taking a little trip to Puerto Backyarda for the day. Bon voyage!…
Automatic doors open without touching them. "I just can’t handle automatic doors" was posted on Twitter by David Lamb on June 3, 2019. "I JUST CAN'T HANDLE AUTOMATIC…
"I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn’t/don't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Saw this on…
"I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn’t/don't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Saw this on…
Burglars can use social media to find if a family is not at home. The family might reveal on social media that they're on vacation, for example. However, the house might have security systems…
Burglars can use social media to find if a family is not at home. The family might reveal on social media that they're on vacation, for example. However, the house might have security systems…
A citrus air freshener sprayed in the bathroom can wind up smelling like "shitrus" (shit + citrus). "Shitrus" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on January 23, 2008.…