"I stood waving to my neighbour for 10 minutes this morning before realising she was just cleaning her windows" is a joke that was posted on Facebook by Paulo Raulino on May 18, 2020. The…
"I read old books because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A lot of talk about…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
A typical "mother-in-law joke" involves her coming to the son-in-law's house. "Pat told his mother-in-law to make herself at home. She did. She sold it" was printed in the…
A winter joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on April 25, 2017: "I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares." "Icy…
Many people take the batteries out of a carbon monoxide detector because of constant false beeping, but often the beeping isn't false. "I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide…
"I used to have a rock garden -- they all died" is a classic joke. Rocks don't die like plants do, of course. The joke is that the speaker is a very poor gardener. "I once had a…
A British English apartment joke was posted on Twitter on August 19, 2012: "I used to live in a tyre but then I got a puncture, now I live in a flat." "I used to live in a tyre, but…
"I used to own a Bed and Breakfast. Then I ate the breakfast, and now I just own a bed. I should find a job" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by SickipediaToday on December 29, 2012.…
A "VIP Room" is for Very Important Persons. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes,/a> on October 15, 2020: "I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P…
"I went to a zoo the other day and it had only one animal -- a dog. It was a Shih Tzu (shit zoo)" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited in print…
Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
There are many "Keep off the Grass" signs. A joke was posted on the website Tearable Puns on September 19, 2014: "I would've kept off the grass, but I don't understand sign…
"I'm a big fan of air circulation devices" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Mike Sullivan on July 9, 2012. "I'm a big fan of air circulation" was posted on…
Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016) married nine times. She often told a joke about her marriages and her special housekeeping ability: "I'm a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I'm divorced, I…
"I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail" (or "I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
"Easy to get a lawn with" sounds like "easy to get along with." "Easy to get a lawn with" was used by a seed company in an advertisement in the New York (NY) Times on…