"Well, I was going to turn all my guns over to the government; but I did a background check and none of them were mentally stable" was posted on Twitter by Doug Sehorne on September 15,…
Holidays can interfere with dieting. "I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy. Before you know it, it's BBQ season again and I'm…
"I have a joke about a broken clock but it’s not the right time" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Matt Walsh on July 25, 2020. "I was gonna tell a a joke about a broken…
Fathers can be pretty bad at picking up a child at school, and there's a joke about this. "When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't mine. She was right I…
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An avocado ages very fast. "I WAS HOPING TO…
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An avocado ages very fast. "I WAS HOPING TO…
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An avocado ages very fast. "I WAS HOPING TO…
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it seems more like a bottle of MD 20/20" is a joke that has been printed on many images. MD 20/20 (often called Mad Dog 20/20) is usually not…
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it seems more like a bottle of MD 20/20" is a joke that has been printed on many images. MD 20/20 (often called Mad Dog 20/20) is usually not…
Fathers can be pretty bad at picking up a child at school, and there's a joke about this. "When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't mine. She was right I…
The term "wait a minute" doesn't literally mean that, but there's a joke: "I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift for 60 seconds. I…
American poet Langston Hughes (1902-1967) was born in Missouri, but arrived in New York City in the 1920s to attend Columbia College. In his autobiography, The Big Sea (1940), Hughes wrote: "I…
The New York Yankees don't have anything to do with the Yankees of the Civil War, but there's a joke: "I was in NYC and this black guy asked me if the Yankees won, I said, 'Yeah…
A restaurant joke has a diner order water, and the waiter asks, "Still?" The waiter wants to know if it's "still" or "sparkling" water, but the diner hears this…
"Infractions" shouldn't be confused with "in fractions," but there are jokes. "I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions. Pun of the Day…
"I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Facebook on May…
Jelly (such as Jell-O) wobbles. A joke was posted on Twitter by Pablo Egglescobar on June 11, 2011: "I was overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly." The joke is that…
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
"Me? I was named after my father, who was named after his father. I should say, 'named for,' for how many of us were named before our fathers?" is an obvious saying that was…