“If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it” (said of Texas weather)
Probably, the construction of this phrase began: "If the heat (of summer) is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." The phrase was also said of winter. A variant became: "If defeat's…
Food/Drink
“If it’s low, let it go; if it’s high, let if fly” (hitting a knuckleball)
"If it's low, let it go; if it's high, let if fly" is advice on hitting the knuckle ball. If the ball is low, it often sinks into the dirt. "'If it's low, let it…
“If it’s not Boeing, I’m not going”
Boeing is an aircraft manufacturing company with corporate headquarters in Chicago, Illinois. "If It's Not Boeing, I'm Not Going" is a slogan that Boeing itself has promoted…
“If it’s not Valentine’s Day and you see a man in a flower shop, ask ‘What did you do?’”
A popular joke about Valentine's Day is: "If it is not Valentine’s day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you…
“If it’s not voluntary, it’s tyranny”
"If it's not voluntary, it's tyranny" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If it's not voluntary, it's tyranny.…
“If it’s obvious, it’s obviously wrong”
"If it's obvious, it's obviously wrong" (or "the obvious is obviously wrong") is a popular stock market saying. If something is obvious to everyone (such as a bullish…
“If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid”
"If it's stupid but (it) works, it isn't stupid" is one of "Murphy's Law of Combat" that was printed by David Evans in the Chicago (IL) Tribune in 1989; Evans…
“If it’s too loud, you’re too old” (music adage)
"If it's too loud, you're too old" is a rock music saying that has been put on gift items such as T-shirts and bumper stickers. A record ad from February 1978 stated, "Ted…
“If it’s the elbow, call the surgeon. If it’s the shoulder, call the preacher” (baseball adage)
Baseball pitchers frequently have injuries to a pitching arm. "If it’s the elbow, call the surgeon. If it’s the shoulder, call the preacher" is a baseball adage. "If it’s the…
“If Jewish schools teach Judaism, Catholic schools teach Catholicism and Islamic schools teach Islamism, then what do government schools teach?”
What do state schools teach? "If trade schools teach trades, and religious schools teach religion, then what do state schools teach?" was posted on Facebook by Justin Damask on May 23,…
“If jobs can ask for 3 references, then applicants should get to ask to speak to 3 happy employees”
Employers ask for references, but job applicants do not. "If jobs can ask for 3 references, then applicants should get to ask to speak to 3 happy employees" was posted on Facebook by Dre…
“If judging others is a sin, is Santa going to hell?”
Santa Claus (according to folklore) decides who is naughty and who is nice every Christmas. "If judging others is a sin, is Santa going to hell?" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“If Kentucky ever gets a soccer team, they should obviously be Kentucky FC”
"FC" usually stands for "football club," not "fried chicken." "KFC" fast food restaurants had the original name of "Kentucky Fried Chicken." Many…
“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard”
"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard" is a romantic winter saying that has been printed on many images. "If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you an…
“If knives and forks are cutlery, spoons are scooplery”
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart”
"If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Since we call Korean pop Kpop, can we call French art…
“If Korean pop is KPop, is Chinese rap Crap?
"If Japanese pop is JPop, then is Chinese rap Crap?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. The joke became popular in 2012. "Asian music is called JPOP, CPOP,…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would be fourth so I wouldn’t have to step up on the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come 4th, so I didn’t have to walk up to the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…