“I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism. I didn’t steal songs; I was just taking notes”
"Taking notes" usually means "making notes," not "taking" or "stealing" them. Several jokes involve music school and music "notes." "I once…
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“I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism. I wasn’t stealing songs; I was just taking notes”
"Taking notes" usually means "making notes," not "taking" or "stealing" them. Several jokes involve music school and music "notes." "I once…
“I was today years old when I realized the straw hole in a CapriSun is the dot of the ‘i’”
CapriSun drinks have a straw that goes through the letter "i." Some people are astonished to be told this vital juice drink straw information. "How old were you when you realized the…
“I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier, I’ve decided I’m never going again”
Does exercise help the mind with decision-making? A joke is: "I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier, I've decided…
“I was told that time heals all wounds, but what exactly do you do on the days that it feels like the hands on your clock have arthritis”
"Time heals all wounds" is an old saying that might or might not be true. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Princess Buttercup on May 23, 2014, and it received over 7,500 likes:…
“I was told there would be no math”
"It was my understanding that there would be no math" (or "I was told there would be no math") is a saying that has been printed on many images. It is a line that a student…
“I was trying to remember what it’s called when you mix coffee and ice cream, but affogato!”
"Affogato" (Italian for "drowned") is a dessert, usually of vanilla gelato or ice cream "drowned" with a shot of expresso. "Espresso over ice cream. Can't…
“I was very young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then”
Numbers are alternatively odd and even. "I was only young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then" was posted on Twitter by Lee Evans (and others) on April 13, 2011.…
“I was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, Ghost of Christmas Present and Ghost of Christmas Past Participle. It was a tense night”
A Christmas Carol (1843) is a novella by Charles Dickens. Ebenezer Scrooge, an elderly miser, is visited by the ghost of his former business partner Jacob Marley and the spirits of Christmas Past,…
“I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit…” (joke)
A joke -- cited in pint since at least 1991 -- has a man walking on the sidewalk when he slips on dog shit. He gets up, and then another person slips on the same dog shit. "I just did…
“I was walking down the road and first got hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a piano…”
An "orchestrated attack" is not necessarily an attack by an orchestra, but there are jokes. "I was walking down the road and first got hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a…
“I was walking through college and my camouflage teacher said I haven’t seen you in class”
Some students skip class, but then run into the professor on the college campus. American stand-up comedian Emo Phillips made a joke: "I was in ROTC in college. I was walking across campus and…
“I washed my hands so much due to COVID-19 that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to was their hands frequently. "I washed my hands so much due to #CODVID19, that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced" was posted on…
“I wasn’t allowed to watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ as a kid because of my Peanut allergy”
Peanuts is a syndicated comic strip that was published from 1950 to 2000. Some Peanuts television holiday specials featured the Charlie Brown and Snoopy characters. Peanuts has nothing to do with a…
“I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could!”
"I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could!" is a popular bumper sticker that dates from at least 1994. T-Shirts N TexasI Wasn't Born in TexasAll Texans accept…
“I wasn’t born Republican, Democrat, or yesterday”
"I wasn't born yesterday" means that the speaker is not so naive as to believe certain faulty arguments or proposals. "I wasn't born Republican, Democrat, or…
“I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere”
"I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere" is a jocular line about running that has been printed on many images. "I wasn't planning on…
“I wasn’t surprised when I was fired from my graffiti removal job. I saw the writing on the wall”
Many employees see "the writing on the wall" at their places of employment, an idiom meaning that the employment situation might be ending soon. A joke takes the idiom literally. "my…
“i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea”
"i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is an…
“I wasn’t sitting here awaiting govt guidance on whether I could celebrate Christmas this year”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, politicians and government health agencies gave advice on how to celebrate Christmas. Many people ignored the advice and celebrated Christmas however…