“Bland salad is a problem that needs a dressing”
"Addressing" sounds like "a dressing." "Bland salad is a problem that needs addressing" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by SickipediaToday on February 17, 2012.…
Archive for /P22700
“Never ask a starfish for directions”
"Never ask a starfish for directions" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The five-pointed starfish can take one in five different directions. "When your…
“I told my boss I needed a pay raise. I said that three other companies are after me” (joke)
There's an old joke about an employee asking for a raise: EMPLOYEE: I need a pay raise, sir. Three companies are after me!BOSS: What companies?EMPLOYEE: The gas company, the water company and…
“I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me”
A math joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on March 18, 2012: "I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me." Pun of the Day (March 19, 2012)I…
“A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. You play games”
"A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service, and what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games!" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“We had dinner and watched a movie together. Then the plane landed”
Sometimes airplanes put people in contact with very desirable people. American comedian Dave Attell has told this joke since at least 1992: "I was on this date with this really hot model.…
“Did you hear about the new Chinese cookbook? ‘101 Ways to Wok Your Dog’”
"Did you hear about the new Chinese cookbook? '101 Ways to Wok Your Dog'" is a cooking joke that has been printed on several images. "Wok" (a cooking vessel) sounds…
“We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply”
"We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The math pun has been cited in print since…
“What do you call a snowman with a six pack?”/“An abdominal snowman.”
A Yeti or "Abominable Snowman" riddle is: Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?A: An abdominal snowman. "Abominable" means something very bad or unpleasant -- an…
“The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window”
"The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "The only way to get vista to go faster is to…
“All I ask is if we arm the teachers, the librarians get silencers”
Following school shootings (such as the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Florida on February 14, 2018), one plan has been to arm teachers. "All for it if the librarians get…
“What did the Dorito say to the cowboy?”/“Cool ranch.”
"Cool Ranch" Doritos tortilla chips contain ranch dressing, but not an actual ranch. A Doritos riddle about this is: Q: What did the Dorito say to the cowboy?A: "Cool ranch."…
“There’s life outside the internet.”/“Send me the link.”
"There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A conversation with a friend was posted on Twitter on…
“Grocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to turnip the covers endive into bed”
A greengrocer joke was posted on the websites Pun of the Day and Twitter on December 17, 2010: "Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek,…
“Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living”
"Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The retirement saying has been cited in print since at…
“Old math teachers never die—they just become irrational”
"Old soldiers never die -- they just fade away” is an old saying that was popularized by General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) in his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951. Many…
“Next week, I’m going on a diet. You can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate”
"Next week, I'm going on a diet. You can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“You know you’re lazy when you get excited about cancelled plans”
"You know you're lazy when you get excited about cancelled plans" is a one-line saying about laziness that has been printed on many images. "You know you’re lazy when you get…
“My wife is leaving me because I’ve put CCTV all round the house. I can see where she’s coming from”
Many people put closed-circuit television around their homes. "My wifes threatened to leave me because I've installed cctv all over the house......I can see where she's coming from…
“If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed internet”
"If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed internet" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If U still think Patience is a Virtue,…