“The judo club knows how to throw a party”
People get thrown in judo, and this has led to some "throw a party" jokes. "The GB Judo team are staying at the same hotel. They know how to 'throw' a party...hello...is…
Archive for /P22720
“It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the express lane”
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images.…
“In February, your daily rent is more expensive than in all other months”
February is the shortest month (28 or 29 days), so a flat monthly rate is most expensive (on average per day) in February. "Shortest month ever. Rent is more expensive in February" was…
“I went to an open-air cafe yesterday and it rained. Took me two hours to finish my soup”
An old joke has it that someone went to a restaurant with a leaky roof -- and it took several hours to finish the soup. Another version is that the person went to an open-air restaurant, and that…
“Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled”
"Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The bank saying was posted on Twitter by Cool Funny Quotes on…
“Toast is just twice-baked bread”
"Have we ever considered that toast is 'twice-baked' bread?" is a question that was published in a 2011 book. "Has anybody else ever realized that toast is just twice baked…
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now change your Facebook status”
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now change your Facebook status" -- a joke illustrating the importance of social media -- has been printed on several images. The usual…
“Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday”
"Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday" is a jocular work -- or non-work -- saying that has been printed on many images. "Yesterday I didn't…
“The Bronze winner is always happier than the one who wins Silver”
In the Olympics, a gold medal is first place, a silver medal is second place, and a bronze medal is third place. Silver winners are often unhappy, and there are sayings such as "Second place…
“What frozen alcoholic beverage should you drink if you need to poop?”/“A Piña Colonic.”
"Piña colonic" (piña colada + colonic) is a jocular drink name. "Piña colonic," a mistake for "piña colada," was mentioned in the Cheech & Chong comedy film…
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television”
"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "The human race is faced with a cruel choice:…
“I don’t work on weekends, or any other day that ends with ‘Y’”
"I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with 'Y'" is an anti-work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Cool Funny…
“I wonder if the guy who coined the term ‘One Hit Wonder’ came up with any other phrases”
The term "one-hit wonder" was popularized in the 1950s and commonly refers to a recording artist who has one big recording hit, but no other ones. It's not known who coined…
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television”
"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "The human race is faced with a cruel choice:…
“A snail walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A snail version has been cited in print since at least 1997: "A snail walks into a bar…
“I put my heart and soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process”
"'I put my heart and soul into my work, and have half lost my mind in the process.' VINCENT VAN GOGH" was printed in the book Vincent Van Gogh, 1853-1890: Vision and Reality…
“Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?” (joke)
A school classroom joke has been printed on several images: LITTLE JOHNNY: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?TEACHER: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?LITTLE JOHNNY: But I asked first! The…
“I fetched a pail of water and ate a KFC family meal. Two things I can cross off my bucket list”
A "bucket list" is a list of things to do before one dies "("kicks the bucket"). The list usually doesn't involve a bucket (such as a bucket of KFC chicken), but there…
“Cleaning house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing”
"Cleaning house while children are growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cleaning a house while children…
“Why can’t cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around”
A computer "mouse" riddle has been printed on images: Q: Why can't cats work on the computer? A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. The joke was posted on Twitter on…