“Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public” (prank)
A prank (sometimes done on April 1st, April Fools' Day) is eating vanilla pudding from a mayonnaise jar. "People give you the weirdest looks when you're gobbling up heaping spoonfuls…
Archive for /P22660
“The pub is ten minutes from my house. However, my house is two hours from the pub”
It's often faster to walk from one's house to a pub than it is to walk from a pub back to the house -- that is, the person walking home from the pub is drunk. A joke was posted on…
“Why did the snail cross the road?”/“I don’t know. It hasn’t gotten there yet.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A snail version is: Q: Why did the snail cross the road?A: I…
“Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time and was completely shocked”
"Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time and was completely shocked" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2013. The joke was…
“I went to a vegan restaurant last night. Was told the menu was quite tasty” (joke)
Saying "the menu was tasty" doesn't necessarily mean the actual menu, but a joke was posted on Sickipedia on February 20, 2018: "I went into a vegan restaurant as I was told the…
“What did Simba (The Lion King) order for brunch?”/“A tuna frittata.”
"Hakuna Matata" is a popular song in Disney's animated film The Lion King (1994). Timon and Pumbaa, the animated meerkat and warthog duo, introduce the philosophy to young lion…
“I dropped my phone from the fourth floor, but it was on airplane mode so it landed safely”
"Airplane mode" for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“What is Pac-Man’s favorite piece of cookware?”/“A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok.”
A joke about the sound that the Pac-Man arcade game makes was posted on Reddit -- Funny on October 20, 2011: Q: What does pacman use to cook his dinner?A: Awok wok wok wok wok wok. The riddle was…
“The menu had many different kinds of food on it. So I asked, ‘Can I have a clean one?’”
A joke about the food quite literally "on the menu" was posted on Sickipedia on August 26, 2017: "The menu had many different kinds of food on it. 'Can I have a clean one?'…
“Wrote a play about weather, with 100 actors as clouds. It was overcast”
"Overcast" weather is when the sky is covered with clouds. An "over-cast" play has too many actors. There have been many "overcast" puns. "I had an audition for a…
“Bought a high definition dessert today. It was a creme Blu-ray”
"Crème brûlée" is a rich custard dessert. "Blu-ray" is a digital optical disc data storage format. The two sometimes get confused. "This dessert is much better in…
“I dropped my phone from the fourth floor, but it was on airplane mode so it landed safely”
"Airplane mode" for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“Wrote a play about weather, with 100 actors as clouds. It was overcast”
"Overcast" weather is when the sky is covered with clouds. An "over-cast" play has too many actors. There have been many "overcast" puns. "I had an audition for a…
“Stress is caused by giving a fuck”
"Stress is caused by giving a fuck" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Conflict and stress is caused by giving a fuck and can be relieved by not giving a…
“The square root of -1 walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A math version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 28, 2018: "The square root of…
“Internet killed the video star” (“Internet killed the video store”)
"Video Killed the Radio Star" is a song written by Trevor Horn, Geoff Downes and Bruce Woolley in 1978, and was first recorded by Bruce Woolley and The Camera Club. The British group the…
“Being a good worker is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet”
“Being a good accountant/ actuary/ architect/ bailiff/ quilter/ programmer/ systems engineer/ writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet" is a saying that has been printed…
“What is the color of a hamburger?”/“Burgundy.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: What is the color of a hamburger? A: Burgundy. The pun is that the color "burgundy" contains a "burger." The joke was posted on Twitter on December 28,…
“Who’s the spiciest knight of the round table?”/“Sir Racha.”
"Sriracha" sauce is sometimes punned as "Sir Racha," the hottest knight of KingArthur's Round Table. "Oh brave sir racha, the rooster knight, please save me from my…
“Internet killed the video star” (“Internet killed the video store”)
"Video Killed the Radio Star" is a song written by Trevor Horn, Geoff Downes and Bruce Woolley in 1978, and was first recorded by Bruce Woolley and The Camera Club. The British group the…