“I knew a guy who collected candy canes. They were all in mint condition”
Are candy canes always in "mint" (peppermint) condition? "I might as well reuse last year's candy canes. After all, they are in mint condition" was posted on Twitter on…
Archive for 12/2017
“A dwarf walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dwarf version is: "A dwarf walks into a bar. The bar for this joke is set pretty…
“Aprons are just adult bibs”
An apron has sometimes been compared with a bib. "The good thing about wearing an apron...is that its like and adult bib:) and i need that!" was posted on Twitter on December 21, 2011.…
“Hey girl, are you a parked car?” (joke)
Parked cars usually don't get into accidents, but there is a joke. "Damn girl are you a parked car because I was really drunk when I hit that" was posted on Twitter by "Mall…
“I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday…when I get out of bed in the morning”
"I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday…when I get out of bed in the morning" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. "I'm gettin outta shape! Good thing…
“Law & Order is Scooby-Doo for adults”
Law & Order is an American police procedural and legal drama television series that ran from 1990 to 2010 and was filmed in New York City. Scooby-Doo is an American animated cartoon franchise.…
“How do fish celebrate Christmas?”/“By hanging reefs on the door.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: How do fish celebrate Christmas?A: By hanging reefs on the door. The reefs/wreaths pun has been cited in print since at least 2004. Google BooksCrazy Christmas JokesBy…
“Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?”/“He wanted a balanced meal.”
A cannibal riddle is: Q: Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?A: He wanted a balanced meal. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google Books'A Prairie Home…
“I wish there was a chess player named Richard. Everything he does would be a Dick move”
A "dick move" is a contemptibly cruel or selfish action. It doesn't involve a "dick" making a chess move, but there have been several jokes. "Penis-shaped figures on a…
“A bowling alley is a pretty bad place to serve finger foods”
People at a bowling alley put their fingers into bowling balls. "The first rule of staying alive is NEVER, EVER EAT FINGER FOOD AT A BOWLING ALLEY" was posted on Twitter on May 5, 2009.…
“It was so cold that I was drinking hot sauce instead of coffee”
Many people drink hot coffee in winter, but suppose that's not hot enough? "I think it is easier to be a bicycle messenger in Buffalo or Boston in wintertime and in addition drink a…
“A bowling alley is a pretty bad place to serve finger foods”
People at a bowling alley put their fingers into bowling balls. "The first rule of staying alive is NEVER, EVER EAT FINGER FOOD AT A BOWLING ALLEY" was posted on Twitter on May 5, 2009.…
“It was so cold that I saw a chicken with a cape on”
"Capon" sounds like "cape on." "It's so cold out there today, I saw a chicken with a cape on" is a joke that was printed in a 1976 newspaper. "It was so cold…
“Why did the gamer cross the road?”/“Buy the DLC to find out.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A gamer version is: Q: Why did the gamer cross the road?A: Buy the…
“How did the vegan fix her flat?”/“A spare I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“Private Parking. Unauthorized vehicles will be worked over with a sledgehammer…”
A jocular sign about parking has been cited in print since at least 2004 and printed on several images: "PRIVATE PARKING UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES WILL BE WORKED OVER WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER, FLIPPED…
“Why did the console gamer cross the road?”/“To render the buildings on the other side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A gamer version is: Q: Why did the console gamer cross the road?A: To…
“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“Why did the gamer cross the road?”/“Buy the DLC to find out.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A gamer version is: Q: Why did the gamer cross the road?A: Buy the…
“Why did the console gamer cross the road?”/“To render the buildings on the other side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A gamer version is: Q: Why did the console gamer cross the road?A: To…