“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
Archive for 12/2017
“What do you call a disobedient kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?”/“A rebel without a Claus.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What do you call a disobedient kid who doesn't believe in Santa?A: A rebel without a Claus. The pun is on the film Rebel Without a Cause (1955). The Santa riddle was…
“Why do chemists like nitrates so much?”/“They’re cheaper than day rates.”
A chemistry riddle is: Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?A: They're cheaper than day rates. The "nitrate"/"night rate" pun has been cited in print since at least…
“What is copper nitrate?”/“Overtime for policemen.”
Police are sometimes called "coppers." A chemistry riddle is: Q: What is copper nitrate?A: Overtime for policemen. The "copper night rate" joke has been cited in print since at…
“What do you call a frozen dog?”/“A pupsicle.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What do you call a frozen dog?A: A pupsicle. Forms of the "pupsicle" (pup + popsicle) riddle have been cited in print since at least 1965. 7 July 1965, Honolulu (HI)…
“What gets bigger the more you take from it?”/“The lower class.”
"What gets bigger the more you take from it?" is a popular riddle. "A pit" or "an excavation" or "a hole" has been the answer since at least 1824.…
“Which animals make potholes?”/“Rodents.”
"Rodents" sounds like "road dents." "Exterminators call pot holes 'road dents!!!'" was posted on Twitter on February 2, 2010. "Guys, be careful when you…
“At work, when you don’t know what to do, just walk fast and look worried”
"When you don’t know what to do, just walk fast and look worried" is a work saying that has been printed on several images, including a Dilbert comic strip. Paul Dickson wrote in The…
“Better days are coming. They are called Saturday and Sunday”
"Better days are coming. They are called Saturday and Sunday" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. "Cheer up. Better days are coming. They're called…
“If you’re not satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain on the internet”
Does complaining on the internet accomplish anything? "If you're bothered about stuff in your life, get up and do something about it. Or sit down and complain about it on the internet.…
“All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and more pay for not getting it done”
"All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and more pay for not getting it done" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "What most folks are seeking these days is less…
“How many frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“None, they prefer Natural Light.”
There have been several versions of fraternities and beer in the traditional lightbulb joke. This is from 1984: Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Three: One to screw it…
“Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones”
Pay phones have mostly been replaced by cell phones. "Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones" was posted on Twitter by Anthony FUNConnell on January 14, 2013.…
“With great reflexes comes great response ability”
"With great power comes great responsibility" is a saying that was popularized in Spider-Man comic books. "With great reflexes comes great response ability" is a jocular…
“How many frat boys does it take to change a light bulb?”/“None, they prefer natural light.”
There have been several versions of fraternities and beer in the traditional lightbulb joke. This is from 1984: Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Three: One to screw it…
“It’s okay password, I’m insecure too”
If a password comes back as "insecure," are its feelings hurt? "Don't worry password, I'm insecure, too" or "It's okay password, I'm insecure too"…
“I’ve never understood the point in fire blankets” (joke)
Fire blankets, like fire extinguishers, are used in many buildings. The blankets are used to retard fire -- not to keep people warm. A joke from someone who doesn't understand about fire…
“Finish your salad. A thousand islands died to make that dressing”
There aren't a thousand islands in each bottle of "Thousand Island dressing," but there have been jokes. Rachelle Mandik posted on Twitter on January 21, 2016: "Finish your…
“Don’t promise when you’re happy, don’t reply when you’re angry, don’t decide when sad”
"Don't promise when you're happy. Don't reply when you're angry. Don't decide when you're sad" are some rules of advice that have been printed on many…
“What cereal makes fun of you but doesn’t mean it?”/“We tease.”
"Wheaties" cereal sounds like "we tease." A pun was posted on Twitter by Kevin McCallister on December 9, 2016: Q: What cereal makes fun of you but doesn’t mean it?A: We…