“What do you say when your pea rolls away?”/“It’s an escape-pea!”
Peas tend to roll of plates. A riddle is: Q: What do you say when your pea rolls away?A: "It's an escape-pea!" The "escape-pea" pea pun has been cited in print since at…
Archive for 06/2017
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand”
"A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand" is a popular "dad joke." "Me: 'How about one night stand?' She: 'That'll be $199…
“When is the best time to buy a boat?”/“When it’s on sail.”
A boat riddle is: Q: When is the best time to buy a boat?A: When it's on sail (sale). The "sail/sale" pun was posted on Twitter on March 25, 2010. TwitterIrv Segal…
“I saw a guy at Starbucks today. No phone, no tablet, no laptop. He just sat there drinking coffee”
Some people -- very few these days -- go into a coffeehouse like Starbucks and simply drink coffee. Brooklyn-based Wall Street Journal writer Jason Gay made a popular tweet on September 22,…
“I got fired from my job at the clock factory today. After all those extra hours I put in!”
Putting in extra hours at work -- is that a good or a bad thing? "I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in" is a joke that was posted…
“A tragedy is a ship full of bankers sinking. A catastrophe is when they can all swim”
A joke about bankers is: Q: What's the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe?A: A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm. A catastrophe is when they can all swim. The…
“Give me all your money or you’re geography!” (bank robbery joke)
A popular bank robbery joke is: THIEF: Give me all your money, or you're geography! VICTIM: Don't you mean history?THIEF: Don't change the subject. The joke has been cited in print…
“You said you had between ten and fifteen million dollars in the bank” (joke)
A money joke is of unknown origin. "On a date the other day I told the guy I have between 10 and 30 million pounds in the bank It's actually true, my balance is £37" was posted on…
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression, first make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes”
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“Cell phones keep getting thinner and smarter…people the opposite”
"Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter...people the opposite is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Phones keep getting thinner and smarter…
“Dear Diamond, We all know who is really a girl’s best friend. Yours sincerely, Chocolate Cake”
"Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" is a song from the Broadway musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1949). A jocular line is: "Dear Diamond(s), We all know who is really a…
“Why is the Army so strict on uniforms?”/“To minimize casual tees.”
A pun about the word "casualty" was posted on Twitter on August 31, 2009: "There was a shootout in The Gap. There were many casual-tees." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad…
“My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, ‘eat a salad’”
"My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, "for the love of God, woman, eat a salad'" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. "My heart…
“I’m retired. Every day is Saturday”
"I'm retired. Every day is Saturday" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Every Day is Saturday (1934) was the title of a collection of essays from The New Yorker…
“There was a shootout in The Gap. There were many casual-tees”
A pun about the word "casualty" was posted on Twitter on August 31, 2009: "There was a shootout in The Gap. There were many casual-tees." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad…
“A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks, ‘Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?’”
"Have just washed the car with my son (well, I couldn’t find a sponge)....ba-dum TISH!" is a joke about washing the car that was posted on Twitter on June 12, 2009. "I was washing…
“Don’t waste a moment of your life trying to be normal”
"Don't waste a moment of your life trying to be normal" is a one-line motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Never waste a moment trying to be normal or…
Cannonball Park (John Paul Jones Park nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: John Paul Jones ParkJohn Paul Jones Park is a public park located in Fort Hamilton, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. The park borders Shore Road, Fourth Avenue, 101st…
“Whenever I want a Klondike bar, I just pay for it”
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "When I want a Klondike…
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life”
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Hey , i tried to be normal once.. worst 15 seconds of my life…