“The hardest animal to kill is a school mascot”
"The hardest/toughest animal to kill is a school mascot" is a popular saying with school administrators, especially when there is talk about closing a school. "The hardest animal to…
Archive for 06/2017
“There are 10 genders. Because gender is binary”
Are there just two genders -- male and female -- or are there more? "There’s only 10 genders. Those who’s gender is binary, and those who’s gender isn’t" was posted on Twitter on…
“All bags of M&Ms are family size when you’re an orphan”
"Family size" means a large size, usually for 2-4 people. "Any bag of M&Ms are family size when you're an orphan" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on May 15, 2012.…
Better Quickly Exit (Brooklyn-Queens Expressway or BQE nickname)
The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway (BQE) is known to many for its traffic delays. The BQE has been called "Better Quickly Exit" by at least 2009. The nickname probably originated with traffic…
“Keep your cymbal jokes to yourself. We’ve heard them all a Zildjian times”
The Avedis Zildjian Company, simply known as Zildjian, is an American cymbal manufacturer. The name "Zildjian" sounds a bit like "zillion." "Drummers always have such lame…
“If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had…does money even matter?”
"If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had, does money really even matter?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by CM Cuck@TimRossComedy on November 27, 2012.…
Money Taking Agency (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is a New York State agency that (among other duties) operates New York City's subways and buses. The MTA is known for starting big projects…
“6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9?” (joke)
“Why is 6 afraid of 7?"/"Because 7 8 9" is a classic joke. A new riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 26, 2017: Q: 6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9?A:…
“A tennis ball walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A tennis ball version is: "A tennis ball walks into a bar/restaurant. A…
“What’s the difference between a T-bone steak and a meteorite?” (riddle)
"Meteor" sounds like "meatier." A pun is: Q: What’s the difference between a T-bone steak and a meteorite? A: One’s meaty and the other’s a little meteor. This is not…
American Pravda (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (now called CNN) began in 1980 as the first all-news 24-hour television network. CNN has been called "American Pravda" by those who believe that it serves a…
“What is the color of the wind?”/“Blew.”
A riddle about the wind is: Q: What is the color of the wind?A: Blew (blue). The pun was cited in print much before the song "Colors of the Wind" in the animated film Pocahontas (1995).…
“Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as ‘you should know this’”
"Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as 'you should know this'" is a jocular saying about password reminders. The saying was posted on Twitter by Joe Penna on…
American Pravda (Associated Press or AP nickname)
The Associated Press (AP) is a news agency founded in 1846 and headquartered in New York City. The AP has been called "American Pravda" by those who believe that it serves a propaganda…
“Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie”
A popular "tie" pun is: "Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie." The silkworm joke has been cited in print since at least 1975. Google BooksComputers and…
“A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Daniel J. BoorstinDaniel J. Boorstin (October 1, 1914 – February 28, 2004) was an American historian, professor, attorney and author. He served as Librarian…
“Without Arabians, 9/11 wouldn’t exist. It would be IX/XI instead”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. A "9/11" number joke was posted on Reddit…
“How many accountants does it take to change a lightbulb?” (joke)
An accountant version of the "lightbulb joke" is: Q: How many accountants does it take to change a lightbulb?A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?A: How many did it take last year?…
“I’m no good at hunting mushrooms, but I can provide morel support”
"Morel" sounds like "moral" and has been the subject of many puns. "Mushroom hunters are great for morel support" was posted on Twitter on August 30, 2012.…
“I am not drunk! Who would name their kid Drunk?”
"No! For the last time stop asking if I am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid Drunk?" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The line was posted on…