“A man spilled his Scrabble set on the road. I asked, ‘What’s the word on the street?’”
A pun about the term "word on the street" is: "A man spilled his Scrabble set on the road, I asked, 'What's the word on the street?'" "A man spilled his…
Archive for 02/2017
“I ate at Mary Poppin’s Restaurant. Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Mary Poppins (film)Mary Poppins is a 1964 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Robert Stevenson and produced by Walt Disney, with songs written and…
“What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing a hotel room?”/“Not filling out the comment card.”
A joke about an accountant's supposedly mild personality is: Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room? A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card. The joke…
“What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing a hotel room?”/“Not filling out the comment card.”
A joke about an accountant's supposedly mild personality is: Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room? A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card. The joke…
“What’s yellow and square?”/“A tomato in disguise.”
A tomato riddle is: Q: What's yellow and square?A: A tomato in disguise. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2004. “What’s blue and looks like a tomato?"/"A red…
“How do trains drink?”/“They chug.”
A train riddle is: Q: How do trains drink?A: They chug. The riddle was posted on the website Pun of the Day on January 3, 2017. TwitterMichael Grace@RFYDNorgJanuary 3, 2017 - How do trains…
“A drunk dyslexic wanks into a jar” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." “A dyslexic man walks into a bra” is a classic joke. Another "dyslexic" joke…
“What’s blue and looks like a tomato?”/“A red tomato in disguise.”
A tomato riddle is: Q: What's blue and looks like a tomato?A: A red tomato is disguise. The riddle was posted on Twitter by "anti joke apple" on April 11, 2014. “What’s yellow…
“How do trains drink?”/“They chug.”
A train riddle is: Q: How do trains drink?A: They chug. The riddle was posted on the website Pun of the Day on January 3, 2017. TwitterMichael Grace@RFYDNorgJanuary 3, 2017 - How do trains…
“The next person who asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade is gonna get a punch”
A pun on the two meanings of "punch" was posted on Twitter by "John" on January 31. 2015: "The next person to ask for pineapple juice cranberry juice, lemonade and a load…
“It’s IKEA’s birthday today, so I took them some eggs, flour, icing sugar, butter and a whisk”
IKEA is a store that sells ready-to-assemble furniture. "Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here's your Cake.x" (with a picture of cake ingredients) was posted by Masai Graham on Twitter on…
“My wife’s cooking is incredible. With a silent ‘cr’”
"My wife's cooking is incredible. With a silent 'cr'" is a funny way to say that the cooking is "inedible." The saying was posted on Twitter on January 18, 2016…
“We accept weather predictions from a rodent, but deny climate change evidence by scientists”
A political Groundhog Day saying that has been printed on many images is: "Only in America do we accept weather predictions from a rodent, but deny climate change evidence by scientists. Happy…
“Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name”
Starbucks coffeehouses ask for a customer's name when the order is taken. "Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on…
“Diet tip: Your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any”
"Diet tip: Your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted by…
“Sex ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight”
"Sex education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed…
“Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female”
"Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female" is a jocular one-lien saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Dylan Horst on July 31, 2012.…
“IKEA: Legos for adults”
IKEA is a store that sells ready-to-assemble furniture. It's often been compared to children's LEGO plastic construction toys. "Adult Legos (IKEA)" was cited in May 2007.…
“Why did the vampire flunk art class?”/“He could only draw blood.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: Why did the vampire (Dracula) flunk art class?A: He could only draw blood. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. Google BooksWorld's Silliest JokesBy…
“Cheese makers have many expenses in curd”
"Cheese makers have many expenses in curd (incurred)"is an infrequently told cheese pun. The pun was a "Pun of the Day" on Yahoo! Groups on April 30, 2002. Yahoo! GroupsPuns of…