“What’s the difference between a genie and a genius?”’ (joke)
Kris Wilson did the comic strip "Cyanide and Happiness" at Explosm.net on April 29, 2013: Panel 3: ARE YOU A GENIE?Panel 4: I'M A GENIUSPanel 5: DO YOU GRANT WISHES?Panel 6: I WISH…
Archive for 10/2016
“Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?”/“He needed to catch a plane.”
In the film King Kong (1933), the ape King Kong climbs the Empire State Building and is attacked by airplanes. A joke was printed in a 1971 newspaper and in other newspapers in the 1970s: Q: Why…
“Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?”/“He couldn’t fit in the elevator.”
In the film King Kong (1933), the ape King Kong climbs the Empire State Building. A joke was printed in a 1971 newspaper and in other newspapers in the 1970s: Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire…
“How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?”/“He could feel it in his bones.”
A popular Halloween riddle about skeletons is: Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?A: He could feel it in his bones. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google…
“No prayer before eating. Here, the chef knows how to cook!” (restaurant joke)
A joke has a husband and wife dining in a restaurant. The wife asks the husband why he doesn't say a prayer before the meal, as he does at home. "Here, the chef knows how to cook!"…
“What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?”/“Monster-ella.”
"Mozzarella" cheese is sometimes jokingly called "monster-ella" or "monsterella." A Halloween riddle was posted in Boys' Life in September 2009: Q: What is a…
“No prayer before eating. Here, the chef knows how to cook!” (restaurant joke)
A joke has a husband and wife dining in a restaurant. The wife asks the husband why he doesn't say a prayer before the meal, as he does at home. "Here, the chef knows how to cook!"…
“A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An grammar version is: "A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to…
“Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An intransitive verb version is: "Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.…
“An aposiopesis walks into a—” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An aposiopesis version is: "So, an aposiopesis walks into a——but I’d best not…
Classhole (class + asshole)
A "classhole" (class + asshole) is an annoying person at school. "The jerk of the class!" was a definition in the Urban Dictionary on February 17, 2003. A popular definition was…
“A group of homophones wok inn two a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A homophone version is: "A group of homophones wok inn two a bar..." "Wok…
“What does a fat cow give you?”/“Homework!”
Are elementary school teachers fat? A popular joke goes: Teacher: If a chicken gives you meat and a pig gives you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?Stuident: Homework! The joke was cited on…
“Why don’t ghosts like rain?”/“It dampens their spirits.”
A popular Halloween riddle about ghosts is: Q: Why don't ghosts like rain?A: It dampens their spirits. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. “Why do ghosts like to ride in…
“My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, not like his passengers”
"Like my grandfather, I wish to die peacefully in my sleep, not screaming like the passengers in his car" was posted to the newsgroup info.sun-managers on August 31, 1993. The joke soon…
“What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?”/“Spelling.”
A witch riddle included in many Halloween joke collections is: Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?A: Spelling. The joke appears to have been included in the book Witches,…
“What do ghosts put on their mashed potatoes?”/“Grave-y.”
"Grave-y" (gravy) is a typical Halloween dish. "Boned foul with grave-y" was a Halloween menu selection printed in an October 1961 newspaper. "What do ghosts put on their…
“What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?”/“A milk dud.”
A popular riddle about Milk Duds candy is: Q: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?A: A milk dud. The joke was cited in print in 1972. A slightly different version was posted on…
“What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?”/“Going my Milky Way?”
A joke about cosmic candy names is: Q: What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?A: Going my Milky Way? The joke was posted on Twitter on May 16, 2012. Wikipedia: Starburst…
“What do skeletons say before they begin dining?”/“Bone appétit.”
Many people say "Bon appétit!" before dining, but there's a popular Halloween riddle: Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?A: Bone appétit. The joke has been cited in…