“Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had loco motives”
A train pun was posted on Reddit on October 4, 2012: "Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives." The "loco motives"/"locomotives" joke has been…
Archive for 10/2016
“What’s the difference between a bonus and a penis?” (joke)
A popular off-color joke about an employee bonus is: Q: What's the difference between a bonus and a penis?A: Your wife will blow your bonus! The joke was posted to the newsgroup eunet.jokes on…
“University priorities: football for alumni, parking for faculty, sex for students”
Dr. Clark Kerr (1911-2003), the president of the University of California, told the new president of the University of Washington, as reported in a newspaper on November 19, 1958: ""There…
“A mugger robs a congressman” (joke)
A popular political joke has a mugger demand of a well-dressed man, "Give me your money!" The man protests, "You can't do this! I'm a U.S. Congressman!" "In that…
“If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘donuts’. I’ll turn around and look”
Donna Macabre tweeted on August 11, 2015: "If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look." "Donuts" is often replaced with…
“Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?”/“There was no chemistry.”
A school science joke is: Q: Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?A: There was no chemistry. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 3, 2010 and has been printed on…
“How’s the New Year going?”/“Shofar, so good.”
The shofar (ram's horn) is sounded on Rosh Hashanah (the start of the Jewish New Year) and on Yom Kippur (the end of the Jewish New Year). "Shofar" sounds like "so far,"…
“Two fermions walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics joke about two fermions (and the Pauli exclusion principle) is: "Two…
Montauk: The Un-Hamptons (nickname)
Montauk is located on the eastern tip of Long Island. It's a tourist destination and mostly a working class community, unlike The Hamptons nearby. Montauk has been called "The…
“The eye in the sky never lies” (game film adage)
Football teams have game film and also practice film. A camera (the "eye in the sky") takes a view of the entire field and all of the players. "The eye in the sky doesn't…
“Alcoholics don’t run in my family. They stumble around breaking stuff”
"Alcoholics don't run in my family. They stumble around breaking stuff" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images "Alcoholics don't run in my family. They…
“Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”/“It depends on the position.”
Boris Spassky, who was WOrld Chess Champion from 1969 to 1972, was supposedly asked what he liked better, chess or sex? "It depends on the position," Spassky supposedly answered.…
“Why did the stand-up comedian get a job at Domino’s?”/“He needed to work on his delivery.”
A stand-up comedian has to have a good "delivery." Several "delivery" jokes involve pizza delivery, postal delivery and an obstetrician's baby "delivery."…
“All those crosses along highways. Christians are terrible drivers”
Many streets have roadside memorials -- usually crosses -- to commemorate a tragic accident that occurred there. There are very few crescents (Islam) or stars of David (Judaism). A joke is:…
Apple Pie Trail (Blue Mountains, Ontario; Orange County, NY)
An "Apple Pie Trail" is a stretch where one can find apple pies (or just apples). The lodges in Nepal provided apple pies for foreign trekkers and became known as an "apple pie…