“The cannibal had a wife and ate kids”
A popular cannibal pun is: "The cannibal had a wife and ate (eight) kids." American author and English teacher Richard Lederer wrote in Get Thee to a Punnery (1988): "Have you heard…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The captain of a yacht is a sails manager”
"Sales manager" shouldn't be confused with "sails manager," but there are jokes. "YES! Just been hired as a sails manager at the yacht club 🚣" was posted on…
“The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume. That’s sound advice”
The expression "sound advice" usually doesn't literally involve sound, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Reverend Scott on June 20, 2016: SON: The car's manual…
“The cashier at the local grocery store asked me if I wanted to donate $2 to end world hunger…”
"I was at the grocery store. When I got to the cashier she was like, 'Do you want to donate two dollars to end world hunger?' I was like, hell yeah! I had no idea we were so…
“The cashier said, ‘Strip down, facing me.’ How was I to know she actually meant my debit card?”
A cashier joke has been printed on many images: "The cashier said, 'Strip down, facing me.' How was I to know she actually meant my debit card?" "And then another idiotic…
“The CDC just announced you can stop wearing socks with your sandals”
The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued many pronouncements during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. In May 2021, the CDC announced that vaccinated people do…
“The CDC says to disinfect the places that you touch the most. Don’t do it, it freaking burns!”
"A Lysol commercial just said to disinfect the thing you touch the most. Fuck!!! This is gonna burn" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Mark on February 20, 2011. "THE…
“The cemeteries are full of indispensable men”
"The cemeteries/graveyards are full of indispensable men/people" means that no one is indispensable. The saying has been credited to Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929) and Charles de Gaulle…
“The Center For Health in the Center of the World” & “Another Day, Another Breakthrough”
Mount Sinai Hospital was founded in 1852. "The Center For Health in the Center of the World" was first used in 2000. "Another Day, Another Breakthrough" is an even more recent…
“The center of a Bundt cake is the Bundt hole”
A Bundt cake has a hole in the middle. Some call this the "Bundthole"/"Bundt hole" (bunthole/bunt hole). which looks like "butthole." "Most creative thing…
“The center of a donut is 100% fat free”
"The center of a donut is 100% fat free" is a jocular line that has been printed on posters. "The center of a donut is 100% fat free" was cited on JoyReactor on August 24, 2011.…
“The Central Park Zoo should be named ‘Zoo York’”
Could New York City's Central Park Zoo have a better name? "Zoo York" is the name of a subway tunnel that runs under the Central Park Zoo. "The Central Park Zoo should be named…
“The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together…”
IKEA is a multinational conglomerate, that designs and sells ready-to-assemble furniture. Some of the furniture can be difficult to assemble. "In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected…
“The checkbook and the calendar never lie”
"The checkbook and the calendar never lie" (or "the calendar and the checkbook never lie") means that you can tell about a person's priorities by looking at how he or she…
“The Chicago style hot dog implies the existence of the MLA style hot dog”
The Chicago Manual of Style and a Chicago-style pizza (or a Chicago-style hot dog) are two very different things, but there are jokes. "Chicago style - how I like my pizza...and my…
“The Chicken and the Pig” (lessons in commitment from bacon/ham and eggs)
The simple breakfast plate of ham and eggs (or bacon and eggs) has become the motivational story of "The Chicken and the Pig." Both the chicken and the pig look on at a family eating…
“The chicken is the only animal we eat before it’s born and after it’s dead”
"The chicken is the only animal we eat before it's born and after it's dead" is a joke (or saying) that's been used from vaudeville days. Forms of the joke have been cited…
“The chip shop I go to still serves fish and chips in a newspaper. Yesterday, I got a plaice in The Sun”
"Plaice" (a fish) shouldn't be confused with "place," but there are jokes. "The chip shop I go to still serves fish and chips in a newspaper. Earlier I got a plaice in…
“The chocolate filing in Ferrero Rocher is Nutella”
Ferrero Rocher chocolate balls have been said by many to have Nutella filling. Both Ferrero Rocher and Nutella are owned by the Italian company Ferrero. "did you know the chocolate filling…
“The Christian Right is neither”
"The Christian Right is neither" (sometimes put in quotes as "The 'Christian Right' is neither") is a slogan that has been printed on many gift items, such as…