“The closer you get to nature, the further you are from idiots”
"The closer I get to nature, the farther I am from idiots" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The closer you are/get to nature, the further you are from idiots"…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The closer you get, the slower I drive” (bumper sticker)
"The closer you get, the slower I drive" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google…
“The closest I get to a spa day is when the steam from the dishwasher smacks me in the face”
"The closest I get to a spa day is when the steam from the dishwasher smacks me in the face" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "So looks like the closest…
“The closest I’ve been to a diet is erasing food searches from my browser history”
American comedian Pauly Casillas tweeted on January 7, 2013: "The closest I've been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history." The line says "this…
“The closest I’ve come to murder is holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop”
Oreos (sandwich cookies) are often dunked in milk, and there's a joke about that. "The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop"…
“The closest I’ve ever come to being a ‘hunter and gatherer’ is opening my own pistachios”
Cracking open pistachio nuts is a lot of work for some people, resulting in several jokes. "I feel like such a hunter-gatherer having to crack all my own pistachios. #paleo" was posted on…
“The closest most people will ever get to participate in the Olympic sport of curling is…”
Is the practice of kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator related to the sport of curling? "Dropped an icecube & managed to skillfully guide it under the fridge using my toes. Who owns a…
“The closest some of us will ever get to heaven” (World Trade Center)
The World Trade Center was opened in 1973, and was destroyed during attacks on September 11, 2001. A 1980 promotion by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey (the WTC owner) stated:…
“The closest that I’ve gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop”
Oreos (sandwich cookies) are often dunked in milk, and there's a joke about that. "The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop"…
“The cobwebs in my house just became decorations! Thanks, Halloween!”
"The cobwebs in my house just became decorations! Thanks, Halloween!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "#ScaryTrue The cobwebs in my house just became…
“The cold air hurts my face”
"The air hurts my face. Why am I living where the air hurts my face?" -- usually meaning that the winter air is very cold, possibly causing frostbite -- is a saying that has been printed…
“The College Board is phasing out the essay portion of the SAT. The test will be known as the T”
The SAT test had an essay, and there are "SA"/"essay" jokes." "College Board announced today that they're taking the essay out of the SAT. Now it's just the…
“The comeback is always stronger than the setback”
"The comeback is always stronger than the setback" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images "The comeback is stronger than the setback" was posted on…
“The Company You Keep” (New York Life)
"The Company You Keep" has been the slogan of New York Life since 1989. NYL is one of New York's oldest companies, dating back to 1845. The New York Life building on Madison Square…
“The Company You Love to Hate” (Con Edison)
'The Company You Love to Hate" was the cover caption of Fortune magazine's March 1966 story about Con Edison. The blackout of November 9, 1965 caused many New York City residents to…
“The Complete Shrimp Cookbook is pure prawnography”
"Prawnography" (prawn + pornography) is a portmanteau that has appeared in many jokes. "I wonder if shrimp are into prawnography?" was posted on Twitter by Al Dopa on December…
“The Constitution actually says you can legally overthrow your government if they are tyrannical”
"The Constitution actually says you can legally overthrow your government if they are tyrannical" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Some have asserted that this is false.…
“The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people”
American Revolution orator Patrick Henry (1736-1799) is often credited for having said: "The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument…
“The Constitution was not established by cowards and cowards will not preserve it”
"This republic was not established by cowards; and cowards will not preserve it" is a saying that has been printed in many images. American news reporter and author Elmer Davis…
“The cook’s course is the hardest course in the army”
"The cook's course is the hardest course in the army/navy," it's often joked. "No one has passed it yet." The joke serves as an explanation of why military food is so…