“Toast is just bread jerky”
Bagels, baguettes, breadsticks, crackers, croutons, pizza crust and toast have all been called "bread jerky." "Toast is just bread jerky, you silly fux. I am eatin' toast"…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Toast is just soft bread that has been hurt before”
What is toast? This was posted on Twitter by Paula Pell on February 20, 2015: "Toast is just soft bread that has been hurt before." “Toast is just twice-baked bread” is a similar…
“Toast is just twice-baked bread”
"Have we ever considered that toast is 'twice-baked' bread?" is a question that was published in a 2011 book. "Has anybody else ever realized that toast is just twice baked…
“Toasters are like tanning beds for bread”
"Toasters are like tanning beds for bread" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Global Toaster - Tanning Just Like a Slice of Bread in a Toaster" was…
“Toasters should have a window so you can see how toasted your bread is before it burns”
"Toasters should have a window so you can see how toasted your bread is before it burns" was posted on Twitter by Danny on July 26, 2018. "Why the fuck don’t toasters have a window…
“Toasters were the first pop-up notification”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsToasters were the first pop-up notification.November 18, 2016 by henhen3000 TwitterJim Martin@DealzzOfTheDayToasters were the first pop-up…
“Tobacco, weed, beer and whiskey are all made from plants… I think I might be a vegetarian!!”
"Tobacco, weed, beer and whiskey are all made from plants... I think I might be a vegetarian!!" (also "Beer, whiskey & weed are all made from plants... I think I might be a…
“Today a peacock, tomorrow a feather duster” (business axiom)
"Today a peacock, tomorrow a feather duster" is an old reminder that success can be fleeting. A rooster replaces the peacock in some versions of the saying. "Peacock Today,…
“Today I bought a cupcake without sprinkles. Diets are hard”
"Today I bought a cupcake without sprinkles. Diets are hard" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many items, such as ecards and T-shirts. "Today I bought cupcakes without…
“Today I got tested to see if I’m sick. Tomorrow I’ll go to the cemetery to see if I’m dead”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people getting tested, even when they had no symptoms of any sickness. "taking a test to see if you are sick is like going to the cemetery…
“Today I learned that ‘Wet Floor’ signs are not a request”
Many buildings have "Wet Floor" signs, indicating that people should walk there only with great caution. The sign usually means that the floor has just been cleaned. A joke is:…
“Today I learned that British imperial florida ounces are different from US florida ounces”
The abbreviation "fl. oz." stands for "fluid ounces." A joke has it that some people think this means "Florida ounces." Some people who grew up in Florida actually…
“Today I was drinking water in front of my plants so they remember who the breadwinner is”
"drinking water in front of my plants so they remember who the breadwinner is" was posted on Twitter by farah mynaf ☾ on March 11, 2022. The tweet went viral and received over 218,000…
“Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry”
"Happier than a bird with a french fry" is a relatively new saying. There are several prints for "Happier Than a Bird with a French Fry," such as "TODAY I WILL BE HAPPIER…
“Today I will drink coffee, smile and be thankful”
"Today I will drink coffee, smile and be thankful" and "The day has begun, drink coffee, smile, and be thankful for the life you have" are sayings that have been printed on many…
“Today I’d like to sit and sip, forget the world a little bit”
"Today I'd like to sit and sip, forget the world a little bit. Ignore the things I have to do, and just enjoy a cup or two" is a coffee/tea saying that has been printed on many…
“Today I’m having a vision problem. I can’t see myself doing anything at all”
"I'm having a vision problem today. I can't see myself doing much" and "Today I'm having a vision problem. I can't see myself doing anything at all" are…
“Today in veterinary class we learned that cows have four stomachs…” (joke)
Gray's Anatomy is an English written textbook of human anatomy that was originally written by Henry Gray. Grey's Anatomy is an American medical drama television series that premiered on…
“Today is a gift—that’s why it’s called the present”
"Today is a gift -- that's why it's called the present" has been cited in print since at least 1993 and possibly originated on a Hallmark greeting card. The newspaper comic…
“Today is April Fools’ Day. Believe nothing and trust no one. Just like any other day” (April 1)
"Today/Tomorrow is April Fools' Day. Believe nothing and trust no one. Just like any other day" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @CallMeeDaddyy Tomorrow is…