“This mama runs on coffee, wine & Amazon Prime”
"This house runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime" (also "This mom runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime," "I run on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime" and "Coffee,…
Alphebetical for "t"
“This margarita tastes like I don’t even have kids”
People who have children often cut back alcoholic consumption -- at least in front of them. "This margarita tastes like I don't even have kids" (that is, good and strong) is a…
“This margarita tastes like I’ll be texting you later”
"This beer/ margarita/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine tastes like I'll be texting you later" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@MezMerrett: This…
“This mask is as useless as our governor” (face mask saying)
The 2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks, but many people disagreed with requiring all people (both sick and healthy) to wear masks. "This mask is as…
“This mask is as useless as our politicians” (face mask saying)
The 2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks, but many people disagreed with requiring all people (both sick and healthy) to wear masks. "This mask is as…
“This mask is as useless as the government” (face mask saying)
The 2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks, but many people disagreed with requiring all people (both sick and healthy) to wear masks. "This mask is as…
“This may be the wine talking, but I really, really, really, really love wine”
"This may be the wine talking, but I love wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "This may be the wine talking, but I love wine. (And Luke Bryan)" was posted on…
“This might be wine” (written on a mug or container)
"This might be wine" (written on a mug or container) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “There’s a chance this is wine” is a similar saying. TwitterStephanie…
“This mom runs on coffee, wine & Amazon Prime”
"This house runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime" (also "This mom runs on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime," "I run on coffee, wine and Amazon Prime" and "Coffee,…
“This Monday is sponsored by coffee”
"Today's/This Monday is sponsored by coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Today's Monday is sponsored by extra strong iced coffee with a side of…
“This morning I called my mom by ‘birth giver’ and she replied ‘yes, financial drain?’”
Parents and children have new nicknames for each other. This was posted on Twitter by yerl on January 11, 2019: "This morning I called my mom by ‘birth giver’ and she replied ‘yes,…
“This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight and a bishop. I must have a chess infection”
A "chest infection" is not a "chess infection" and has nothing to do with the game of chess, but there are jokes. "It must be cold in Russia, I hope Garry Kasparov…
“This morning I drank coffee so strong it briefly gave me confidence and opinions I was not qualified to have”
Coffee can give some people confidence -- maybe too much confidence. This was posted on Facebook by Coffee on March 21, 2026, and it received over 1,300 likes: "This morning I drank coffee so…
“This morning, I made a Belgian waffle. This afternoon, I’m going to make a Frenchman talk bollocks”
"Waffle" can be both a noun and a verb. Of course, there are jokes. "RT @GaryDelaney: Just had a Belgian waffle, next I'm going to make him dance" was posted on Twitter by…
“This morning’s coffee brought to you by here we fucking go again”
"This morning's coffee brought to you by here we fucking go again" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "This mornings coffee brought to you by here we…
“This New Year’s Eve, remember to drink and wander around your house responsibly”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many people to celebrate New Year's Eve at home. The usual cautions of "stay safe" and "drink responsibly" didn't…
“This next song is about subtraction. Take it away, boys”
"My next song is about subtraction. Take it away..." was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on January 10, 2011. The joke originated on the Sickipedia website. "This next song is…
“This office will not tolerate redundancy in this office”
"This office will not tolerate redundancy in this office" is a jocular office sign. The office joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. Forumosa.comMe English get badderPostby…
“This orange juice says shake well before drinking…” (drinking joke)
Some juice drinks (such as orange juice) require a shake before drinking. A joke on this was posted on Twitter by MikeP on August 19, 2015: "This orange juice says shake well before drinking.…
“This pandemic ain’t over until Costco starts serving free samples again”
Costco (a big-box retail store chain) became famous for offering its members free samples of some products, but this was suspended in 2020 during the Covid-19 (coronavirus) pandemic.…